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Unread 2 Weeks Ago   #1
verysimple
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Default It's so complicated that idk wtf I am doing ...

I've been seeing this guy for a month now, or am I? ... Anyway, We started dating and taking it slow and I started being serious until he wasn't so serious and went and slept with someone else. Then, I had a talk with him deciding that we should be friends with benefits to which he agreed and was ok with, so I knew someone from before and hit him up and had sex with him. when I was out with this "someone" he messaged me but I didn't answer, messaged again, then called and called again and I answered and told him I was out with someone. So the next day I called him, he was really pissed at me for not getting back to him and whatever, we kept talking for an hour and we then agreed to put this behind and just stay friends with benefits.

He went out, had fun, fucked someone and then when I saw him, he told me that we are just friends, not friends with benefits, but I can still talk sweet to him and flirt with him..He wants me to care about him like he is my boyfriend and I'm a friend to him.
He even dared to wanna introduce me to his fuck buddy ... but I refused, and then he went on a date with him.
And everytime we talk, he acts petty, like he talks about how he has sex with this guy or how he is making plans to go have fun just to piss me off or make me jealous. In short, he's playing mind games. Sometimes he's nice and I start flirting with him, other times he pulls away and doesn't seem like he has feelings so it got me really lost and I have no idea wtf is going on anymore ... It's like he got me on strings playing with me... Like he's teaching me a lesson ? or he's just getting back at me for what I "did to him" and wants to get a very strong reaction from me that can satisfy him ... IDk. He claims that what we did was very different. Cuz when he first had sex, it just happened. Nothing was planned and there was no intention in wanting to have sex. But with ME, I went out there looking for it and he thought that I would stay loyal to him even though we are friends with benefits like we agreed, he thinks that I shouldn't go looking for sex and i would just let sex come to me like he did.

All I know is that I want more of him and he wants me to be his "Friend" ... It's just too confusing and I don't have room for that in my life. It's too much, I'm not ready for this kind of fuckery and mind tricks that are happening. Like I said, I'm sooooo confused and I have no idea what I'm doing or what to do, SO your take on this would be VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.
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Unread 2 Weeks Ago   #2
Stuart
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Hi verysimple,

I hope you are well.

To be fairly honest, this is more like a waste of time. If i was with you i would personally move on.
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Unread 2 Weeks Ago   #3
TwisttheLeaf
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He's taking from you without contributing anything in return. That's not a friend.

I'm sorry you're going through this, man, but it's time to move on. He's fucking with your head, hurting you, and probably screwing with your self-esteem (or probably will be if this goes on much longer). Honestly? He sounds like a user.
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Unread 2 Weeks Ago   #4
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First you were dating and you had feelings for him. Then you were fuck buddies which is normally no strings attached sex, but you still had feelings for you. Then you are just friends. On his terms only.
You still have feelings. He doesn't. If you follow this downward spiral, the next step is him dropping you completely. Do something for yourself: beat him to it by kicking his ass to the curb. His next fuck should be him fucking himself.
You don't need this.
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Cridders88 (2 Weeks Ago), Jason (2 Weeks Ago), TwisttheLeaf (2 Weeks Ago)
Unread 2 Weeks Ago   #5
seeking
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I agree with the others. He clearly doesn't want anything more in the relationship and it is best to just forget him rather than torturing yourself by keep digging in the matter.

I wish you the best!
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verysimple (1 Week Ago)
Unread 2 Weeks Ago   #6
IanSaysHi
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He enjoys being chased and getting attention by the sounds of it; best thing you can do is not give him any. I know it's hard but it's not going to go anywhere. Go find someone else, it won't be hard
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Cridders88 (2 Weeks Ago)
Unread 2 Weeks Ago   #7
Jason
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@verysimple Don't waste your time on this one. Drop him, he's not even being a decent friend.
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Unread 2 Weeks Ago   #8
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We have a popular advice columnist here [google Savage Love] who has a set of initials for what you must do: DTMFA. it stands for Dump The Mother Fucker Already.

The guy is playing with you. You are not a toy. Refuse to be a part of such a relationship. DTMFA
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trywait (2 Weeks Ago)
Unread 2 Weeks Ago   #9
Cridders88
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I fail to see anything good in the situation you have described Verysimple. He is having his cake and eating it, but you aren't allowed to? He is using you for attention, and it'll only get worse the longer you let him. Such imbalance in these situations and indeed relationships only leads to hurt and heartache.

There is nothing complicated about this at all, ditch him.
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Sherman8D (2 Weeks Ago), verysimple (1 Week Ago)
Unread 2 Weeks Ago   #10
Camfer
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What a mess. Stop associating with him. He's a manipulator who needs to be the center of attention. He's playing you big time and you're falling for it. If/when you ignore him he will up the drama to try to pull you in again, only to toy with your feelings. He probably gets his self esteem from the attention of others. That's not what you want in a guy.

Now, take a moment to reflect on whether or not you were playing somewhat the same game with him. When you wanted this guy but deliberately went out to get sex from someone else, really, why did you do that? That is worth exploring. It takes two to tango. What's your part in all this?
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LJay (2 Weeks Ago)
Unread 1 Week Ago   #11
verysimple
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stuart View Post
Hi verysimple,

I hope you are well.

To be fairly honest, this is more like a waste of time. If i was with you i would personally move on.
Seems like the best thing to do Stuart, thank you!
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Unread 1 Week Ago   #12
verysimple
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwisttheLeaf View Post
He's taking from you without contributing anything in return. That's not a friend.

I'm sorry you're going through this, man, but it's time to move on. He's fucking with your head, hurting you, and probably screwing with your self-esteem (or probably will be if this goes on much longer). Honestly? He sounds like a user.
you're right. HE IS fucking with my self esteem, and I need to get the fuck out of there asap .. Human garbage everywhere. Thanks bud!
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Unread 1 Week Ago   #13
verysimple
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darius View Post
First you were dating and you had feelings for him. Then you were fuck buddies which is normally no strings attached sex, but you still had feelings for you. Then you are just friends. On his terms only.
You still have feelings. He doesn't. If you follow this downward spiral, the next step is him dropping you completely. Do something for yourself: beat him to it by kicking his ass to the curb. His next fuck should be him fucking himself.
You don't need this.
Not at all Darius, Not even.
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Unread 1 Week Ago   #14
verysimple
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IanSaysHi View Post
He enjoys being chased and getting attention by the sounds of it; best thing you can do is not give him any. I know it's hard but it's not going to go anywhere. Go find someone else, it won't be hard
Thanks Ian! Yeah, This pretty much gives me the whole picture. Anyway, glad I could see it. Now I can act on it. Thanks alot.
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Unread 1 Week Ago   #15
verysimple
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LJay View Post
We have a popular advice columnist here [google Savage Love] who has a set of initials for what you must do: DTMFA. it stands for Dump The Mother Fucker Already.

The guy is playing with you. You are not a toy. Refuse to be a part of such a relationship. DTMFA
the mother fucker is already dumped. Thank you!
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LJay (1 Week Ago)
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