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Unread 18th April 2017   #1
RomanticMan
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Default My bro finds me ladies!

My brother tries to find me girl. this is the 4rt time and I dont want to date a girl.
I dont know what to do. Whenever he finds me a girl, I feel anxious, apalled and bad because it makes me apprehensive. The girl sent me a message on facebook and I still havent answered her.

and I cannot bear this anymore! I dont know what to do about it.

Can you please help me about that? I dont even know if i should tell him because I cannot keep it inside anymore like this. I dont want him to find me gf.
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Unread 18th April 2017   #2
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You could say that you don't have time for a girlfriend right now, but it may be that he's pushing you to tell your truth. Or maybe it's his wife's idea to get you hooked up. How does he find these girls?
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Unread 18th April 2017   #3
cormeum
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That's very similar to what my "friend"does. Also trying to hook me up with girls who mostly are his girlfriend's friends. I try to just ignore his attempts and see him less. If you are braver, you can send him to hell and tell him to stop interfere with your life.
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Unread 18th April 2017   #4
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Originally Posted by cormeum View Post
That's very similar to what my "friend"does. Also trying to hook me up with girls who mostly are his girlfriend's friends. I try to just ignore his attempts and see him less. If you are braver, you can send him to hell and tell him to stop interfere with your life.
I think it would be better if Romantic Man could find the right words to tell him why his brother needs to stop sending him girls.
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Unread 18th April 2017   #5
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Family or other people trying to hook you up with someone is extremely annoying, whether they're finding you the partner of the right sex or not. So just tell your brother to mind his own business.
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Unread 18th April 2017   #6
TigerLover
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Tell him you don't want a girlfriend yet.
Do it energetically and really get passionate.

You're a young man and you don't need some ball and chain tied around your neck bitching at you because you won't get married or have kids.

There are a lot of downsides to a relationship hetero or homo. Bring them all up.

BUT if your brother is this involved in your life he's going to figure it out sooner or later no matter how well you lie.
Is he homophobic?
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Unread 18th April 2017   #7
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People try to set me up with guys (which is obviously a good thing, i.e. guys are my type), but I'm not really looking for anyone right now. I know it's not quite the same but various people ask why I'm not seeing anyone, or that they've got a gay friend who I should meet up with (because obviously being gay means we're a 100% match <insert eye roll here>), or try to set me up with someone. They don't seem to understand that for me right now life is much better being single and I can be quite happy not being in a relationship! So I just tell them I'm too independent, or I need to focus on my career right now and I don't have the time. I think it's just finding that reason you can give your brother, and give it quite firmly, to get him off your back until you come out (if you can).
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Unread 18th April 2017   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IanSaysHi View Post
People try to set me up with guys (which is obviously a good thing, i.e. guys are my type), but I'm not really looking for anyone right now. I know it's not quite the same but various people ask why I'm not seeing anyone, or that they've got a gay friend who I should meet up with (because obviously being gay means we're a 100% match <insert eye roll here>), or try to set me up with someone. They don't seem to understand that for me right now life is much better being single and I can be quite happy not being in a relationship! So I just tell them I'm too independent, or I need to focus on my career right now and I don't have the time. I think it's just finding that reason you can give your brother, and give it quite firmly, to get him off your back until you come out (if you can).
(because obviously being gay means we're a 100% match <insert eye roll here> ),
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Unread 18th April 2017   #9
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Tell him your quite capable of finding/pursuing a relationship under your own steam, and you'll do it in your own time at your own pace. Let him know that his meddling is interfering with your studies right now and is not appreciated.
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Unread 18th April 2017   #10
deephiance
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I have always thought this is fucked up behaviour because it is controlling.

You need to have a chat with your brother, explain to him that you don't believe that the right person for you will be found through blind dating people he chooses and that you will date someone when the time is right.

OR you could give your brother's phone number to random people and tell them that he is 'looking for someone'
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Unread 18th April 2017   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deephiance View Post
OR you could give your brother's phone number to random people and tell them that he is 'looking for someone'
I lol'd .
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Unread 19th April 2017   #12
RomanticMan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deephiance View Post
I have always thought this is fucked up behaviour because it is controlling.

You need to have a chat with your brother, explain to him that you don't believe that the right person for you will be found through blind dating people he chooses and that you will date someone when the time is right.

OR you could give your brother's phone number to random people and tell them that he is 'looking for someone'
the second one would be amazing and fun but he's already married LOL.
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Unread 19th April 2017   #13
RomanticMan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by princealbertofb View Post
I think it would be better if Romantic Man could find the right words to tell him why his brother needs to stop sending him girls.
I think I might go with this, because I know that he'll just keep doing the same sh*t again and again. Even I'm 23, this is the 4rt time. I know he's not ready to hear, and I'm not ready and not willing to tell so LOL. but I dont know maybe I should tell him.
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Unread 19th April 2017   #14
RomanticMan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerLover View Post
Is he homophobic?
Wish I could know
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Unread 19th April 2017   #15
deephiance
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RomanticMan View Post
the second one would be amazing and fun but he's already married LOL.
BUT....wouldn't that make it more fun???
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