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Age is irrelevant
Howard is a 95 year old man who lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Howard goes to the secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening Annabel, 87 years of age, wanders into the garden and asks if she can join Howard.

"Of course, Have a seat!", Howard replies.

They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed engaged in pleasant conversation. After a short lull, Howard turns to Annabel and says,

"Do you know what I miss most of all at age 95?".

The lady replies,

"No, what would that be, Howard?".

"Sex" Howard confesses somewhat sheepishly.

"Why, you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know, but it would be nice if a woman would just hold it for a while."

"I can oblige," says Annabel.

She gently removes his manhood from his trousers, and proceeds simply to hold it. After a while, they agree to secretly meet every Wednesday night in the garden for friendly conversation and the holding of Howard's member. Several weeks go by as agreed.

After six or seven weeks, Annabel arrives at their spot, but Howard is nowhere to be found. A bit concerned, she decides to walk around the rear of the Senior Center to the men's dormitory to see if Howard is all right. About halfway to her destination, she passes the pool area, and sees Howard sitting next to the spa with another woman. Annabel approaches the couple, and to her amazement sees that the woman is holding Howard's manhood.

"You old two-timing fossil!" she announces loudly. "I can't believe you stood me up for another woman! What does this hussy have that I don't have?"

Howard smiles, looks up at her and replies,

"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams

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