Am I A Fanatic About Smoking?

[Matt608]

I hate smoking. I don't let people smoke in my house or my car. And I don't date guys who smoke, it's a deal-breaker for me. Their clothes smell bad, their hair smells bad, and kissing a smoker is pretty disgusting to me. I don't go around preaching, but if it comes up with a potential date, I let him know how I feel.

I just went through a breakup and I'm not interested in dating anyone right now, but I was out last night and this guy started talking to me. He ended up telling me that I'm totally superficial for rejecting smokers. He called me a snob, rude, and a total jerk.

Honestly, I don't care if a guy is Prince Charming incarnate - if he smokes, I'm just not interested. I'm not about to change my ways here, just curious about what other people think.

[MHJG]

I don't smoke, but I don't mind people who smoke. I think I'm not interested to date a heavy smoker.
If my boyfriend smokes occasionally, it's fine. However, I will be worried about his health and try to persuade him to quit smoking. I want him to to be happy and comfortable. Sometimes, smoking is a social activity and makes people happy.

Smokers should respect non smokers because passive smoking is harmful. How can he called you a jerk? He is a selfish jerk.

[sillyboy86]

I don't care too much if someone smokes or not but I agree with you, if you smoke your clothes and everything of your body smell bad, not including it's a stupid and expensive habit. So I agree with you, I couldn't date a habitual smoker.

[TwisttheLeaf]

No, you are not a fanatic or a selfish jerk. Smoking is dangerous not just to the person doing it, but to anyone in range of the secondhand smoke. And, in some cases such as myself, dangerous even beyond that.

In my case, I'm severely allergic to tobacco tar. This means not just the smoke can cause me a life-threatening emergency (airways close and thus I stop being able to breathe), but anything that smoke touches can -also- cause a reaction. The tar is carried in the smoke, it lands on things and -sticks- to them. I touch the item.... it starts with itchy hands, quickly turns into hives, and can end with me not able to breathe as my airways close up. Usually, this takes a decent amount of exposure to smoke for the tar to build up, but the tar doesn't easily wash off with soap and water (or toothpaste, or laundry detergent, etc.) I take allergy medication, but it can only do so much to help.

Smokers don't realize. They don't realize that from a car, three car-lengths ahead of my own, if they're smoking with their windows down that with my windows down my nose is already starting to run uncontrollably and eyes to itch. They don't realize how much the smoke stinks, or how it permeates everything, or that it -sticks- to everything so stubbornly. They don't get it.

[cormeum]

I'm a smoker myself. I try to be as polite as I can about it. I always ask permission to smoke of I'm around other people or I just walk aside. I think I wouldn't date a guy who'd be so against it. I wouldn't smoke in his presence if he didn't want me to, that's a reasonable request, but I wouldn't completely give it up.

[Matt608]

[MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION] - OMG, you're talking about anaphylactic shock. My sister has food allergies, and it happened to her once. It was terrifying. She almost died. I had no idea it could also happen from tobacco tar. This must be so hard for you, my sister can pretty much avoid the food she's allergic to, but smoking is everywhere.

[Cridders88]

An ex was a smoker. Not a heavy smoker, but a smoker nonetheless. He would always smoke outside and when he came back indoors, would spray a bit of deodorant and chew some gum. Mind you, he'd only have about 2 cigarettes in an evening. None of this bothered me, I could still smell it a little, but I got used to that. A heavy smoker who made no effort to mask it and smoked indoors would be a no no though. So yes, for me it would depend.

[Matt608]

I'm a smoker myself. I try to be as polite as I can about it. I always ask permission to smoke of I'm around other people or I just walk aside. I think I wouldn't date a guy who'd be so against it. I wouldn't smoke in his presence if he didn't want me to, that's a reasonable request, but I wouldn't completely give it up.

I would never tell someone to stop smoking, it's a personal choice and none of my business. Where I run into problems is like with the guy I mentioned - a couple times I've said to guys that I don't date smokers and they get all pissed and accuse me of trying to force them to quit. I'm not. And I'm not making any judgments, either. Theyy have a right to smoke. I have a right to avoid them. I'm not sure why it has to be more complicated than that.

[Darius]

I hate smoking too, so I try to avoid those who smoke.

[MikeW]

The guy who went off on you has issues... seriously... and this is coming from someone who *does* smoke. (My relationship with tobacco is odd. I hate it but I am an addict. I can go for LONG periods without and then something triggers me back. I usually only smoke when it is above 80°F or I'm feeling stressed.)