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Bf still hangs out with his Ex
#1
Okay, what would you feel if your boyfriend still hangs out with his recent ex? Let's say one night, your bf invites his ex to just hang out, have some beer, go to the bars in a friendly way. He tells you that they are not going to do anything physically or anything beyond friendship throughout the time. They are just going to catch up things and talk stories by themselves. What would you feel? Take note that he tells you that he loves you and never intends to hurt you. He just wants to hang out with his ex. I'm just wondering what your real opinions would be on this matter and how to deal this situation. Thanks.
#2
That's a good question. I would not feel comfortable with that situation but then again it all depends on how much you trust him. Personally I wouldn't like the idea because to me it just raises to many flags. Maybe go along and see how they interact with each other and that should tell you if they truly are just friends or if there is something more. Good luck
#3
I totally understand your problem. My advice, if you're worried about him with the ex, ask to go along with them when they hang out. Then you can see what goes on and what they do together
#4
Ok, I really don't have any experience -so feel free to ignore me. Confusedmile:
You say recent, so I don't know how recently you've started going out or how the break up was with his ex.

I would not go out with them. I would sit him down before and look him in the eye and say --don't hurt me, don't do anything behind my back, tell me to my face. This makes me _____ (fill-in-the-blank: a little uncomfortable, jealous)--whatever YOU are feeling. Be blunt but don't turn it into an argument and don't guilt him, just tell him these are the facts about what you are feeling. Then, give him the hottest kiss imaginable, Love2 and let him go.

The thing is, if he went out with someone for a very long time and the relationship just didn't work out, and they decided that all they really had was a friendship--he may just really want to catch up. Good friends are very hard to find. That would say something, to me--a good thing, about your bf's character and how he treats people in his life.

If on the other hand, it was a drama-filled breakup, then it would raise a red flag that maybe he wasn't quite over the ex.

I wish you the best.
#5
I am friends with all my exes except for one and I love them all as friends...I am not compatible with jealous people at all so I am not sure how I would react to it if I was questioned about it but I can say nothing turns me cold faster than a display of jealousy. I realize that may not be the most desirable response and I considered not responding at all due to that but I am responding in the hope that it may give you a different way of looking at it.
#6
did they break up on good terms ??? if so then they may have decided that its best just to be freinds maybe before he met you,, if you try to put a stop to him seeing him then it may back fire and have to opposite effect -you could always arragnge a night for you all to do something together ! wierd i know but atleast you could get to know him and judge for yourself if you think anything is going on - otherwise your gonna be thinking the worst all the time without knowing the truth
#7
They broke up because they argued a lot. So I feel like they are "catching up" to settle things? Idk. I get paranoid.

Anyway, we just argued about him comparing himself to my recent ex. He thinks that I was more attracted to my ex than to him. That is not true. He would always ask me about my exes. He would compare my relationship to them to my relationship to him. He would always think of things that how come my exes were better than him, like I loved them more than him, you get the picture.

I just don't get it why he dwells on the past. I told him that I'm with you now and what important is us. Exes are past people. They should be left behind. At least I don't speak or meet my exes after our breakup unlike him. I don't understand why he is like that. It is so unfair. It's like whatever I say, he always thinks he's the underdog among my men in life. He thinks he is always right and I'm always wrong. He says he loves me but he does these things to me. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him. Someone help?
#8
Truth is that we can never make someone want to be with us against their will. I like what azulai said. Let him go. Let him realise you are much better than his ex. Let him come to you because he wants to. You decide whether you want him on this basis.

My partner of many years and I are both good friends with the man I was seeing before PA and I got together. We've even stayed at his house as guests.
#9
marshlander Wrote:Truth is that we can never make someone want to be with us against their will. I like what azulai said. Let him go. Let him realise you are much better than his ex. Let him come to you because he wants to. You decide whether you want him on this basis.

My partner of many years and I are both good friends with the man I was seeing before PA and I got together. We've even stayed at his house as guests.

Thanks and by the way, he just admitted to me that he is attracted to girls sexually. It's like what? Sad
#10
goodboy15 Wrote:Thanks and by the way, he just admitted to me that he is attracted to girls sexually. It's like what? Sad
Sometimes I think being bi must be the worst of all possible worlds.


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