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Brian and St. Peter
#1
>> >> Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening, as he

>>often
>> >> did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already
asleep.
>> He
>> >> gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
>> >>
>> >> When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of
his
>>bed
>> >> wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?"
>>demanded
>> >> Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?". The
mysterious
>>man
>> >> answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".
>> >>
>> >> Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I
have
>>so much
>> >> to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've
got
>>to
>> >> send me back straight away".
>> >>
>> >> St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is
a
>>catch.
>> >> We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Brian was
>>devasted, but
>> >> knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked
to be
>>sent
>> >> back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in
>>feathers and
>> >> clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he
>>thought
>> >> until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
>> >>
>> >> The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the
new
>>hen,
>> >> how are you enjoying your first day here?"
>> >>
>> >> "It's not so bad" replies Brian, "but I have this strange
>>feeling
>> >> inside like I'm about to explode".
>> >>
>> >> "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me
you've
>>never
>> >> laid an egg before".
>> >>
>> >> "Never" replies Brian
>> >>
>> >> "Well just relax and let it happen"
>> >>
>> >> And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later,
an
>>egg
>> >> pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief

>>swept
>> >> over him and his emotions got the better of him as he
>>experienced
>> >> motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second
egg,
>>the
>> >> feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that
being
>> >> reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened
to
>>him
>> >> ... ever!!!
>> >>
>> >> The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his
third
>>egg he
>> >> felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard
his
>>wife
>> >> shouting "Brian, wake up you bas*ard, you're sh*tting in
the
>>bed"
Note: No trees were destroyed in the sending of this contaminant free message. However, I do concede, a significant number of electrons may have been inconvenienced.


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