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Coping Methods
#11
I bike, craft, tinker with small engine and bike repairs, shoot LOTS of pool/billiards, volunteer for Hospice and groom dogs on the side. Smile
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
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#12
well, I have some ways to cope
first I have two white chickens that kinda big and I put them in my backyards not in the cage. they are so lovely, every time I go there, they will come to me. and every time I squat in front of them, they will come even more near and sit under my crotch or my foot lol, how silly. and every time I offer them my hands, they will fly to them and sit on it. they really don't mind if I hold them or rub them.
I consider them as pets now since they're really close to me. hahhaa
two, since I live in closet, I barely have someone to talk to about my gay life irl. so twitter and forums are really helpful to release some stress and pressure
three, I like to go to a coffee shop, and doing some graphics on photoshop or corel because it's my hobby
four, hang out with friends, forget all the problems and being delusional. lol
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#13
I have a friend I can tell ANYTHING to. Just venting everything out helps, but the best part is my friend doesn't just passively listen. He asks questions, reframes my responses, and calls me out on my bs. This helps tremendously, and leads to my next point...

Reframing my own negative thinking. Coming to the realizations that A) I am in control of my negative thoughts. I am the one who thinks them. B) If that is the case, then I also have the control to replace them with positive thoughts. It is not easy, but rep;lacing negative thinking with positive thinking changes your entire outlook.

I had a point where I was so depressed I ended up leaving a long, sobbing message on my former therapist's voicemail. I had never felt so low. All of a sudden, I had the stunning realization that my depression had never helped me. I complained about being lonely. About living paycheck to paycheck. Complained about not being "normal." Etc. But I never did anything about it. So I decided to take action. I asked out the guy I was really attracted to. He said no, but I felt good for finally asking.

Video games, TV, and movies always help. Music tends to magnify whatever mood I am feeling.

And finally, volunteering. I mentor a former foster child. I always feel good knowing I am dedicating my time to a worthy cause and being a positive influence in a life sorely lacking positive influences. And people tell me all the time that I am doing such a wonderful thing. That external gratification feels good.
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#14
alwaysimagine Wrote:Coping mechanisms are good to have, but it's important to understand what they're meant to do. Depression is a symptom, a manifestation of your emotions that is meant to communicate that there's a problem in your life. You can treat the symptom, but without identifying the problem or root of the depression and addressing it, those feelings don't go away and it becomes increasingly more difficult to cope with them each time they resurface. Having good coping mechanisms will save your life, but you understand yourself and your condition better than anyone. You should know whether or not the depression you're experiencing is temporary or more permanent. Don't settle for learning how to cope with feelings of depression, hopelessness, or worthlessness, because that's just a temporary solution and you're doing nothing more than treating the symptoms to a bigger problem.

I couldnt agree more. Without going on a rant, I did not mean this thread to be about people covering up their problems as this is certainly more unhealthy than using a coping mechanisms. You must identify the root cause of the problem and sort it out, otherwise you will go nowhere - that is why I am a strong believer in those with bipolar/depression trying to avoid medicine as this does not address the issue at hand.

I would say that a lot of the time the root cause is yourself. Or at least it was with me. My mindset was so shit and I constantly blamed other people for issues that were ultimately caused by myself. I had to take some responsibility for my actions which is a hell of a lot easier to say than to do. I also found that small things like smoking (stoptober) were becoming a crutch and I was dependant on certain things which was not the way to be.

Groups were very helpful as due to my 'mindset' and blame I didnt particularly feel like interacting with people and became very withdrawn from what you might call society - again this was not the right way to go about solving my issues but as some of you may know - you just dont care what other people think or what you 'should' do. However, my sports club were great at involving me and I also went to a couple specifically gay groups to see like minded people. Both were great, and it is always healthy to meet new people as I said before. I think that people underestimate the value of good nutrition, health and exercise as if you feel better day to day because of this then it is a step in the right direction and can really help change your mindset.

Venting is SO good. You just need someone to do it to! There are always phone numbers to all where you can just talk to someone - dont even have to tell them your name. Try supportline!

Depending on how you feel, I personally would not say that there is one cure for all. It is a matter of small steps in the right direction and the amalgamation of these samll steps can ersult in a transormed life. By realistic with yourself as denial is the most powerful factor in this (at least from my perspective).

So rant over! Went on a bit longer then intended.....

There must be someone out there who has been a dark place and then set themselves a crazy task like climbing everest or travelling across africa alone? Would love to hear it..
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#15
People ask me everyday how i cope, with all the shit and crap in my life and still bound around with a smile on my face and a uptone in my voice.

Most who have heard my story have admitted they would of broken down by now, lost patience, possibly even commited suicide and trust me ive had those thoughts.

I made a vow i would never take the easy way out, and that i would go out with a bang leaving a ever lasting impression. Ive stuck to that vow and glad to say it seems to be working, since in college my teachers still remember me and they have thousands of students they teach everyday, every year, and i asked why they remembered me and these were their exact words "You leave a ever lasting impression, one i wont forget"

My coping meathod is simple, hope... Im a believer in hope stronger so much i lay my life on the line everyday for it. The hope things will get better, the hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel, the hope that its only a matter of time and the hope that i cant go any lower.

My situation right now is as bleak as they come, but i havent given up hope, even though times running out for me. I am always seeking, pushing forward, even holding others up rather than trying to pick myself up.

I good at putting a mask on to fool people when im down, in order to not bring those around me down with me too.

There are my coping methods &^.^
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#16
These last three posts remind me of a nice little book I have where the author describes the coping process using the word "Hope" as the acronym. I've used the reference countless hundreds of times because it is SO very helpful as a tool for recovery.
H - Honesty
O - Openness
P - Patience
E - Effort

Hope we all "work HOPE" into our daily living for the very best of coping strategies! Wavey
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
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