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Fathers
#1
I know gay men as a rule usually get on with their mothers(there are allways exceptions to this) but the biggest influence on my life is my father. At 80 he is energetic, intelegent and most of all caring. He says he allways knew about my sexuality growing up but allways accepted it. For as long as I remember he has allways been a fairly prominant left wing politition(locally) and a champion of gay rights for years. He allways seems to know when somthing is troubling me, sometimes even before I do. He also offers me sound advice, which given the respect I have for him I usually take. God bless fathers.

ps How do you get allong with your'e dads
#2
Indeed, fathers usually are closer to their daughters for what i have noticed but yours is really fantastic. As for my relationship with my dad is not an easy one. that is what i said in another thread.

spotysocks Wrote:Personally i have to admit i feel drained every time i speak to him, it doesnt take more than 5 mins-record time! He reminds me what i should do or in my view what he wants me to do and i have different plans. I get so much negativity from him that i feel weak,sad and lost at the same time. He is a good family man though and worked hard in his life and i appreciate what he has done for his family. The thing is that he exhausts me emotionally since i can remember myself..age 5 maybe... dont remember many times i felt in ease being around him but there are a few i keep in my mind as good memories.
I already feel guilty for being away , i miss everyone in my family and they miss me too; being away though gave me time to find myself and also accept my sexuality which we havent discussed in depth and is not an issue that can cause dispute at least not yet.... Rolleyes
I haven't been visiting home often because i cannot have any confrontation with him and although this is good as we wont have any arguments or bad feelings keeping a 'safety distance' i miss home and feel alone (definitely this have effected my personality too). I feel i cant resolve this so i avoid it but what worries me is doing so at some point will come to haunt me. I hope and try not to mistreat him or disrespect him and try to be fair. It is really hard to have a conversation with him...i just have to be silent let him say what he has to say and then try to find a way either to do what i believe is best for me without upsetting him or make him feel i am going against him...takes a skill. Not sure if i have the right approach to our relationship. Very difficult relationship.


Time spent being less than happy is time waistedWavey

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#3
Hey Sparky, great to hear you have a sound relationship with your father........


My father divorced my mum when I was 7, so we never had that father figure in the house so to speak

XXX
#4
Sparky I'm glad for your relationship with your father.
Mine was quite the opposite but that is what made who I am today.
#5
sparky71 Wrote:I know gay men as a rule usually get on with their mothers(there are allways exceptions to this) but the biggest influence on my life is my father. At 80 he is energetic, intelegent and most of all caring. He says he allways knew about my sexuality growing up but allways accepted it. For as long as I remember he has allways been a fairly prominant left wing politition(locally) and a champion of gay rights for years. He allways seems to know when somthing is troubling me, sometimes even before I do. He also offers me sound advice, which given the respect I have for him I usually take. God bless fathers.

ps How do you get allong with your'e dads


Sparky, I think if you do a little search, you will find our answers to this question in another thread. It has been discussed.
I, like Jamie, saw my father leave my mother and the family at the age of 7, but he was always there and still is, at 80 (like yours) very energetic and alive (and lithe, to the extent that his older years will permit, naturally). I think he's been a much better father for me as an adult than he was while I was growing up. In a way I'm happy I had the upbringing I had, but I guess we missed him at home every day. Despite his obvious fall out with my mother, he never let us down. My father is still a fine man... Herz
#6
it is good how your dad is very nice.my dad is not nice i get cross about him but him not live with me.and i dont see him . but my mum is very nice!Confusedmile:
#7
princealbertofb Wrote:Sparky, I think if you do a little search, you will find our answers to this question in another thread. It has been discussed.
I, like Jamie, saw my father leave my mother and the family at the age of 7, but he was always there and still is, at 80 (like yours) very energetic and alive (and lithe, to the extent that his older years will permit, naturally). I think he's been a much better father for me as an adult than he was while I was growing up. In a way I'm happy I had the upbringing I had, but I guess we missed him at home every day. Despite his obvious fall out with my mother, he never let us down. My father is still a fine man... Herz


Nice one PA


I wish I was still contact with my Father, but apparently he wasn't the family man

Oh well


I don't miss him

xxxxxx
#8
Because of the apartheid and general fucked upness of SA at that time,I only got to really know my Pa when I was about 7 or 8.He took to fatherhood like a fish to water and just like that,we were the perfect nuclear family.My dad is a "fun" dad and lets us get away with murder.He respects me,my feelings and opinions...used to call us "young Sirs".Always a friend when you need one or when I just need to vent.What built this bond for me is just seeing how amazed by my bro & me.Learning new things about him,watching the cricket,helping him with his work,all these things we've done with him...very special times.My fondest memory of him was when my brother and I had to teach him Afrikaans,that was the best.He's is very easygoing but he's a perfectionist,a trait he doesnt impose but we've inherited.He's the good guy.Sounds crazy but my dad has never raised his hand or voice to me or anyone in fact,always a perfect gentleman .If it wasnt for my Ma,I'd probably have come out to him by now.Love my old timer!
#9
sparky71 Wrote:I know gay men as a rule usually get on with their mothers(there are allways exceptions to this) but the biggest influence on my life is my father. At 80 he is energetic, intelegent and most of all caring. He says he allways knew about my sexuality growing up but allways accepted it. For as long as I remember he has allways been a fairly prominant left wing politition(locally) and a champion of gay rights for years. He allways seems to know when somthing is troubling me, sometimes even before I do. He also offers me sound advice, which given the respect I have for him I usually take. God bless fathers.

ps How do you get allong with your'e dads

Hiya,
If my dad bothered to come see me as i dont know where he lives it should be alright... But i rarely see my father... However i have learnt that the mistakes my father made with me i wouldnt do to my step son

Kindest regards

Zeon x
#10
I guess the only consistence of my father has been him saying to go ahead and do what ya like as long as ya dont hurt your self or anyone else. Oh, and the love for watermelon which I have inherited. Yum Yum Yum Bow


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