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How Surprised were your Parents?
Wow, You guys are scaring the crap out of me. haha I am pretty sure my father thinks its a choice. I have hear him say in the past " he turned gay and left his wife." I know that's not the case. People dont turn gay they just get sick of hiding it and playing straight. I never came to a fork in the road of life and decided to take cocksucker lane instead of straght street. It is what it is.....
I came out to my family when i was 17... I couldnt take it anymore being in the closet and i was out walking the dogs with my step dad and tolds him whilst out... He asked if he could tell my mum and i said ok... I wasnt nervous i figured it saved me the work and she called me in that night and said as long as your happy im happy... You are my son and whoever you end up with in life is your lifestyle ment to be.. My brother took it a little hard and he kept being nasty with comments and one night enough was enough my mother got up punched him in the face and screamed his your fucking brother dont you dare slate him like that under my roof... You will respect him and if you dont you will find life very difficult and grow up to be a very sad little man... I love him just as much as i love you and he isnt sitting there giving you abuse for being with a woman to which he shouted its fucking normal so my mum said that I was normal...

This took a massive burden off my shoulders and my uncles were told that night and they were told to respect my sexuality or dont bother being part of the family... My cousins and aunt and other relatives stuck by me and united as a family... My brother still to this day gives me the odd comment or two but i keep reminding him to not to forget its ok to be gay and come out the closet.. I think my brother backed off when he saw how angry i got one time and broke my hand in a car accident by punching the framework and denting it 15 times before a bone snapped in shock... I told him i may be placid and not much of a fighter but i could put him in A&E if i wanted to gay or not gay....

Another factor to me coming out was i beleived in one thing only.... If my mum loves me and truely has she will respect this and continue to love me as normal.... If not ill move out immediately and live with a friend... She did respect it and to show it she tells everyone she knows her son is gay Smile

Kindest regards

zeon x
Heh so update.

Dad had another talk with me and told me he's not happy or comfortable with it. Said he doesn't want me to ever bring a guy home. Kept saying it's my choice. To which when I tried to explain it's not really a choice he just kept cutting across me saying "yeh i know i know". Said he would like me to give him grandchildren and all that jazz. Says mum still hasn't said much and any time he asks she doesn't really wanna talk about it so he says shes probably on the same page.

He did say he's not going to throw me out of the house or anything like that.....I guess that's a positive....
KJ1989 Wrote:Said he would like me to give him grandchildren and all that jazz. Says mum still hasn't said much and any time he asks she doesn't really wanna talk about it so he says shes probably on the same page.

To anyone coming out or planning to come out, sacredcake passed this video on to me and I think it's a great tool available. Consider sending this to your parents if you're in an odd situation.

Also, KJ, so sorry to hear that your parents are taking it so hard, we're all here to back you up, and anyone else in the same situation.

Both of my parents said that they knew when I told them. I think I took them more by surprise at the time I told rather than the fact I was gay. My mother took it really well, and my father, well he cried and hasn't really brought the subject up. Not sure if he is totally comfortable with it, but only time will tell I guess.
In the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... but its the way things are. The choice is yours. ~ Zidane Tribal

Hope is comforting, it allows us to accept fate no matter how tragic it may be. ~ Yunalesca

"Απο μακρυά και αγαπημένοι παρά απο κοντά και μαλωμένοι"

There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met ~ Gonzo
LateBloomer Wrote:SMART GIRL!

I don't know your mother, but if she's more concerned about what HER FRIENDS think than how her daughter feels, then I think you're doing the right thing by staying down low until you're truly independent of her.

Have you considered that your mother and father may talk about your orientation at some point?

oh no. Dear God no. They've been divorced since I was two and they truly hate one another. Not a word has been spoken between them in several years. But yes, I decided waiting until independence was the best option. Her opinion does not matter to me whatsoever, but if I can help from a huge family explosion of an argument, I will!
I just told my mom a few weeks ago (first person i told) she was totally ok with it she's a very level headed person.

My dad passed away last month so he never found out. I really think him passing was the final barrier in my life between me and finally accepting who I was. I really did and still do love him but he wasn't the most politically correct and accepting person around I doubt he would have taken it well at all.

Edit: reading other people's stories I feel truly horrible for those of you whose parents have no idea how to handle it and react with hate or aggression I don't know what I would do without my mom in this situation
Well.. no one in my family knows yet, just not got the guts to tell them at all, I think my mum would be accepting as would my brother but well.. everyone else would dis-own me and try to sway me otherwise and insult me saying it's not normal and not right, don't really intend to tell them yet if at all, will be moving abroad in the next couple of years anyway Confusedmile:
My mom did not react at all. Guessed from school days.

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