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How out is "out" in your book?
#11
I dont agree that you need to tell everyone you are gay, why should you, does everybody else feel the need to Announce they are straight.
Being openly gay to me means just being exactly who I am with everybody, for some reason people feel the need to ask if I am gay,which I find somewhat bizarre.So when I say "Ofcourse", that usually puts them back a bit, because I could/should just say yes. They often reply with "I thought so", again a strange way to think in my opinion. Then I usually ask them , "Are you straight",,,,when they answer "Yes" I then reply , "I thought so".
My point being that I dont judge people on their sexual preferences, colour or religion, so I would hope nobody does that with me.
I work in what can be described as a very heterosexual male dominated industry,but find that I am remarkably weel liked by all and have a reputation for saying everything like it is, suppose having been rapidly promoted over most of my co workers has also given them cause to stop and think that maybe a gay guy is just as hard working , dedicated and even tough as they all are.
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#12
I would say that someone who is "out" is someone who is comfortable with his/her sexuality and doesn't take action to hide it. For instance, before being "out" I took active measures to hide that I am gay. Now, while I don't announce it to the world, I don't take any measures to hide it.

In general, I am "straight-acting" so no one would know unless they ask. Sometimes people ask, I respond that it isn't their business (or if I'm feeling facetious I'll ask a similarly personal question-"What's your favorite sexual position?"). I don't think it matters, or should matter, who I like to sleep with. It's completely irrelevant and I think people should not be so comfortable asking with a personal question like "are you gay?"
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#13
dlboy53 Wrote:I'm slowly learning to not care what other people think its my life and they don't need to know until they discover that I am different but the same person that they have always know. If they ask then I will deal with it then but until then I'm tired of hiding myself because of others. Its time to live life one day at a time.

What is different? It is individually subjective.

What makes you so different - you are human (just like everyone), you have feelings (just like everyone), you are damaged (just like everyone), you have baggage (just like everyone), you have feelings for others (just like everyone). Does it really make you different just because you dont have feelings for only the opposite sex......again that is individually subjective - but I say no.

In fact, I am not sure what the ratio is but I am almost certain that the ratio is at least 50/50 of LGBT to "straight" love (as I am sure there are thousands of people who have not "Come Out" as to the sex(s) they have feelings for) So is the LGBT community really different?

Its not necessarily about people accepting you because you are different, but about accepting you because of the person you are.
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#14
AirBorn Wrote:... I am not sure what the ratio is but I am almost certain that the ratio is at least 50/50 of LGBT to "straight" love (as I am sure there are thousands of people who have not "Come Out" as to the sex(s) they have feelings for)
estimate on the low side 3%
varies on location but maybe high side 9% in NYC

for something that's 3> population > 9% we can assume it will take some time to reach 50%. At that time the thinking of the terms; gay, faggot, homosexual will have only historical meaning, the words will have disappeared.

reference linky
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#15
I'm sorta out . My family knows and some old friends but I'm not sure if anyone at work knows because I'm not chasing after relationships and being a very straight acting nerd just means no one ever asks. : '

I've always wondered if anyone else feels invisible like that.
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#16
Out is only "don´t hide"... important persons in family should know...good friends have to know,,, and the others are not my problem.
I see it as a big problem for younger people or people in their coming out that they think "really out" is to tell it their neigbours, postman, the fat lady with the beard in circus and and and... that makes more problems at it is useful.
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#17
Agree with Daz.

I know I'm out. My friends and clients know I'm gay and out. I can accept myself as a gay guy. But just because I'm out, it doesn't mean that I need to scream and announce to the public that I'm gay.
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#18
Jay Wrote:Agree with Daz.

I know I'm out. My friends and clients know I'm gay and out. I can accept myself as a gay guy. But just because I'm out, it doesn't mean that I need to scream and announce to the public that I'm gay.

in your case means "out" much of additional courage... admirable
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#19
Thanks Fenris.

I don't want to lie to myself for the rest of my life. I shivered when I saw some guys on Grindr with Married status. Can't imagine how they able to confront their wives and kids every day after banging guys behind.

I know it's not easy to come out when you live in Islamic country but still, eh. Life is all about taking risks.
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#20
Jay Wrote:I know it's not easy to come out when you live in Islamic country but still, eh. Life is all about taking risks.

Have you ever seen Persepolis? I'd be curious what you thought of it.

As for me that's one of my favorite movies, and very rare in that in multiple viewings it has both made me laugh AND cry.
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