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I'm ready to cry!!!
#11
Retired military but new to computers so please bear with me.
you say " I need to get over it and live my life"
BULLFEATHERS you do not GET OVER things like this but you do get through things like this.
i was over seas when my lover was killed by a drunk driver here in the states 8 years ago
life is uncertain and love like you have described is RARE hold on to it grab it HARD and never let go.
you could be taken from him to. do not forget. death is the only thing that discriminates against NO ONE.
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#12
Separation either destroy your relationship or make it stronger. Just have a little faith and be strong. 18 months seem really long but it will pass by faster if you can find yourself something new to do. Make more new friends, enjoy your life, don't let the stupid government takes away your 18 months of life as they did to your bf.

I think it 's a great idea to be friend with his mother. You will be a great support for her as she will be for you.
Also, remember, with him or not, you have your own life to live so be strong.

( I deeply feel emotion when I read your post, I wish one day I can find a lover like you. )
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#13
Congratulations on your lovely relationship. If you get on well with his mother, build that relationship. It is much better to have his mother as a friend than as an enemy. I daresay she is just as worried as you are about him being deployed to a war zone (sorry I'm not going to call it a "theatre").

I believe you are right. All you can do is support him and give him the freedom to make his own choices. Imposing your wishes on him would be bound to lead to difficulties further down the road. Unfortunately, his choices will place him in some danger.

I wish you both the strength to deal with all this and that both our governments will stop their "adventures" in other people's countries.
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#14
Mr. Lonely Wrote:Retired military but new to computers so please bear with me.
you say " I need to get over it and live my life"
BULLFEATHERS you do not GET OVER things like this but you do get through things like this.
i was over seas when my lover was killed by a drunk driver here in the states 8 years ago
life is uncertain and love like you have described is RARE hold on to it grab it HARD and never let go.
you could be taken from him to. do not forget. death is the only thing that discriminates against NO ONE.

I am very sorry to hear that. You are definitely right about everything too. I'm going to let him do whatever he chooses. I just want him to be happy, and as long as he is, I am!!

I will just ask God for strength to help me through whatever is thrown my way. But I do know that everyday with him feels like the first day we fell in love. I am still amazed that after 2 years, I still fell this way!! we were both raised very similar, and at one time had mixed feelings on the whole gay marriage thing. But now we both know for a fact that love has no gender, and we want to be together for life. I was once against gay marriage, but now I see the issue with a whole different set of eyes. I never thought I would EVER want to marry another man. We both have a strong faith in God, and we truly believe that we have his blessings.

You are right, I can't get over it, but I must move forward. At this point, I don't even remember what life was like without him, and I don't care to. He says that I am the first person who he has ever been in love with, and about a month ago, he gave me this poem.

The Lover's Prayer

I once had a heart, and this is true,
but now it went from me to you.

Take care of it like I once had done,
for now you have two, and I have none.

If I go to Heaven, and you're not there,
I'll write your name on the golden stairs.

If you're not there by judgment day,
I'll know you went the other way.

I'll give the angels back their wings,
their golden harps and all their things.

And just to prove my love is true,
I'll go to hell to be with you!!

Then he said, "Baby, I vow to you right now, that I will spend everyday of the rest of my life proving to you how much I love you, how much I am in love with you, and that I will try my best to shield and protect you from everything impure in this world!"Cry

conechvn Wrote:Separation either destroy your relationship or make it stronger. Just have a little faith and be strong. 18 months seem really long but it will pass by faster if you can find yourself something new to do. Make more new friends, enjoy your life, don't let the stupid government takes away your 18 months of life as they did to your bf.

I think it 's a great idea to be friend with his mother. You will be a great support for her as she will be for you.
Also, remember, with him or not, you have your own life to live so be strong.

( I deeply feel emotion when I read your post, I wish one day I can find a lover like you. )

Right. And it seems like every time we are separated, our bond deepens. So i'm not too concerned about us drifting apart. We don't like being apart from each other for too long at all!

I talked to his mother last night, and we are going to meet for lunch tomorrow, or Saturday. I really like her, and I definitely see where he gets his manners and charm. Not only that, but when I talk to his mom, we laugh a lot together We are both Capricorns, so we get along great! And I really want her to know that I love her son unconditionally, and I will always be here for both of them. When he first told her about me, she was reserved. She raised her sons on strict Christian principles, so she wasn't really feeling the whole thing. She was thinking from a standpoint of stereotypes. I think she expected me to be some king of gold digging feminine groupie or something. About 8 months into our relationship, I decided to write her a nice letter, so she would know exactly what my intentions were with her son. She wouldn't talk about any of it for a few months. But as of late, she and I talk at least twice a week, and she told me about all her reservations, and no matter what she supports her son, and has never seen him in love like this ever. So she supports our relationship and whatever make us happy. Then she closed with this. "If you and my son ever get into it, and you decide not to call me because you are mad at him, I'm coming to hunt you down!! LOL!! It was so funny!


marshlander Wrote:Congratulations on your lovely relationship. If you get on well with his mother, build that relationship. It is much better to have his mother as a friend than as an enemy. I daresay she is just as worried as you are about him being deployed to a war zone (sorry I'm not going to call it a "theatre").

I believe you are right. All you can do is support him and give him the freedom to make his own choices. Imposing your wishes on him would be bound to lead to difficulties further down the road. Unfortunately, his choices will place him in some danger.

I wish you both the strength to deal with all this and that both our governments will stop their "adventures" in other people's countries.

Thank you!!! It truly is the most wonderful experience of my life. I think one of the reasons her mother wants to start meeting with me alone is to establish a closer relationship. If and when he is deployed, we can actually comfort each other and feel closer to him. Thanks for your advice!! I really needed this, and I am so damn glad I found this place. I just can't loose him. I really don't know how I could ever survive it. At times I feel like I can't even breath when I think about that possibility
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#15
DRW Wrote:My partner an I have been together for almost 2 years. He is in the Air Force, and may have to go to out of state for an 18 month assignment.

I am afraid I really don't have any advice for you myself. Separation is just part of life if you are a military spouse. To be honest I think you would benefit from the advice of someone who has experience of being a military spouse, but I realise that given DADT, getting that advice may be difficult or impossible.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.
Fred

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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#16
fredv3b Wrote:I am afraid I really don't have any advice for you myself. Separation is just part of life if you are a military spouse. To be honest I think you would benefit from the advice of someone who has experience of being a military spouse, but I realise that given DADT, getting that advice may be difficult or impossible.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

No need to apologize at all. Your response was very helpful.Wink I always knew separation was a possibility, but I chose not to ever think about it because I knew how I would feel. Now that it's in front of my face, I don't know how to handle it. I'm just not ready for that! And he told me this morning that he is scared I will loose interest in him if he is deployed.

Are there any military guys here? Or partners of military guys??
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