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I wish that................
#11
Dan1089 Wrote:I wish I knew what men want.

princealbertofb Wrote:Some men wish that they knew what women wanted.... So I guess that's normal.

Ask? Rolleyes
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#12
Except it's not that easy.
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#13
Dan1089 Wrote:Except it's not that easy.
Of course, sometimes you're right. Being a perverse kind of person I have generally found it more difficult to speak about difficult things to the people I care about the most. That has happened even when I have known that, in the longer term, the kindest thing would have been to be open with the truth. It's just not the way I feel comfortable doing things. I'm afraid I don't subscribe to the school of thought that goes, "I say what I think, that's just the way I am, take it or leave it". Too often, in my experience, people like that are not only hurtfully blunt, they are also plain rude.

What I discovered late in my life though, is that it is possible to say things that need to be said and to be able to have a civilised discussion. Fits of histrionics and of acting the wounded party don't really get one anywhere.

Contrary to what some may think, Albert and I do hold different opinions on some matters and I find that stimulating. We can both present and defend individual points of view without it having to end up as a competition with a winner and a loser. To be honest this is a relatively new experience for me and I have learned to be able to value myself more, because he values me too. He is the only person I have ever known who I feel deserves to know the truth of my opinions. It may not come any easier to me to open up, but I want to make the effort ... for him. That's not to say I come to him with a list of complaints about things I may imagine have caused me grief. The day to day worries that caused me huge anxiety in my previous relationship don't seem to matter any more, but he knows what I think is important and I feel I know what he values too.

That aside, one assumes you are thinking about your new man here, Dan? Either he's worth the effort spending time getting to understand him, or you think he's playing games with you. If the former, you have to trust that he will accept you and your worries sometime. That might as well be now, before feelings take root too deeply. If he's messing with your head you have to decide where you draw the line marking what you are prepared to tolerate. That's not to say you have to end the relationship if he doesn't meet your standards, but I personally think you are better off recognising it for what it is. That way, you don't pressure yourself to try and turn what might be just "fun" into something that ultimately proves to be unattainable.

If I've misread your subtext I apologise, but may I wish you well Bighug
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#14
clontarf Wrote:.............. I had the ability to see through clothes and therefore know what every man I fancied would look like naked

Smurlos Wrote:Interesting that you put what people look like naked before other things :tongue:
Hmm, two light-hearted comments with a bit of an edge?

Aren't most people curious about others? Even many straight guys have perfected the art of moving their eyes without moving their heads when they stand in silent contemplation at the porcelain shrine. Rolleyes

Actually, doesn't this curiosity go back even earlier? The Superman comics I bought as a child in the 1960s were full of adverts for x-ray spectacles which implied that it was possible to see through a person's clothes to the secrets beneath.
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#15
With age comes wisdom,not that I'm saying you're old marshlander!The thing is my relationships with men have always been the "wham,bam,thank you Sam" sort.Now that I'm in an actual relationship,I'm not really sure what to do.It's also a new relationship so I am not really sure whether I should tell him the truth or sugarcoat stuff.I want to impress him and not scare him off.Although I wanted to use the restroom at his place,I couldn't bring myself to ask!
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#16
But surely he didn't ask you to torture yourself...??? Holding it in when you need to go is one of life's most excruciating experiences... You'd have been far more relaxed if you'd just done your business and come back relieved... Next time, ask. He's human, he knows what human needs are.
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#17
marshlander Wrote:Hmm, two light-hearted comments with a bit of an edge?

Aren't most people curious about others? Even many straight guys have perfected the art of moving their eyes without moving their heads when they stand in silent contemplation at the porcelain shrine. Rolleyes

Actually, doesn't this curiosity go back even earlier? The Superman comics I bought as a child in the 1960s were full of adverts for x-ray spectacles which implied that it was possible to see through a person's clothes to the secrets beneath.

Yes, this is true. But what I mean is, if you had say 10 wishes, maybe that would've been down with wish number 5 or something.... rather than being wish number 1 of a total of 1 allowed..... and that surely there are other things that top this such as "i wish someone could find a cure for every kind of cancer" (if that's possible) I wasn't saying what he asked for was wrong... as I just looked back and realised how bitchy the comment sounded haha, but I didn't intend that at all - I just meant that it was interesting that out of EVERYTHING, that was what he would wish for Confusedmile:
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#18
Smurlos Wrote:Yes, this is true. But what I mean is, if you had say 10 wishes, maybe that would've been down with wish number 5 or something.... rather than being wish number 1 of a total of 1 allowed..... and that surely there are other things that top this such as "i wish someone could find a cure for every kind of cancer" (if that's possible) I wasn't saying what he asked for was wrong... as I just looked back and realised how bitchy the comment sounded haha, but I didn't intend that at all - I just meant that it was interesting that out of EVERYTHING, that was what he would wish for Confusedmile:
Sure, I understand and accept your points. And yes, I took "interesting" to mean precisely that. No value judgements intended. While I wouldn't dream of speaking for clontarf, I can think of a few times when I have verbalised rather random thoughts (I think it's an age thing - we do it as children - both times Wink ) ... it doesn't mean that I don't place more or less value on other thoughts, values and beliefs.
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#19
Smurlos Wrote:Yes, this is true. But what I mean is, if you had say 10 wishes, maybe that would've been down with wish number 5 or something.... rather than being wish number 1 of a total of 1 allowed..... and that surely there are other things that top this such as "i wish someone could find a cure for every kind of cancer" (if that's possible) I wasn't saying what he asked for was wrong... as I just looked back and realised how bitchy the comment sounded haha, but I didn't intend that at all - I just meant that it was interesting that out of EVERYTHING, that was what he would wish for Confusedmile:


Yeah, a bit like: what's the ONE item you would take with you on a desert island?... (that is, you can take only ONE)... phew, that's a tough one.
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#20
I wish I didn't need drugs to think in a straight line.
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