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Is my best friend really my friend?
#1
Just some background info; me and this girl are best friends. Since we met, we got really close, we spend a lot of time together and I really enjoy her company. Recently though, one our of new male friends started developing a crush on her, and she was not at all interested. In fact, she was practically repulsed by him. That is, until I kissed him (he's "bi-curious"). Now she really wants him, and I already feel like I'm being displaced. I'm starting to realize how jealous she can be, it's almost like she's afraid that I'll get a boyfriend before she does, she doesn't want to be lonely. Better me than her I guess, I can handle loneliness better than her. Not to mention she's been in a few relationships, so she's not used to loneliness. But really, ouch... that kind of caught me off-guard.

I'm not really sure what to do, do I just let this run its course? I don't see any sense in forcing her to be my friend, that would be worse than being lonely. I can't even talk to her about this, she would get all defensive and stuff and we'd both end up getting hurt.
#2
She doesn't sound like a good friend imo..

I think you already know the answer to your question. You don't
need people like that around you, they just want everyone to be
miserable like them and get jealous when someone around them is
happy.

I'd just let the friendship fade unless you feel like you need to put her
on her place and tell her off, but it's not worth your time really..

good luck~
#3
No, not a friend at all

and she clearly as you put it won't change her stance...

well, you certainly don't need people like that around you

not when their sense of happiness is bound to how miserable YOU are in comparison..

no. no. no
#4
She seems quite pretentious and insecure...

You don't wanna be with people like that..

No need to force her to be your friend since it won't do good in your life...

A good friend should care about you and clearly, she only thinks of her own good..
#5
I am an old guy (comparatively) BUT the comments above seem pretty darn spot on.
#6
She is insecure and sometimes we want what we think we can't have.

She has behaved badly here but this is one incident and how easy it is for us to remember the negatives and forget the positives!

This incident aside could you give us any examples of how she might have been a friend to you before she is condemned?
#7
With that kind of selfish behaviour? Oh dear, no she's not.
#8
loserguy Wrote:She is insecure and sometimes we want what we think we can't have.

She has behaved badly here but this is one incident and how easy it is for us to remember the negatives and forget the positives!

This incident aside could you give us any examples of how she might have been a friend to you before she is condemned?

Truth is, I'm hesitant to really complain about her because we have had many sincere moments where she has been a good listener, and I've always been a listener for her as well,, but sometimes she just says little things that suggest to me that she is kind of insecure. I mean, she did admit to me a while back that she was kind of attracted to me, but now she makes a point of saying that I appear substantially less attractive to her because I'm gay. I don't know... this is kind of giving me a headache.

I still want to be her friend, but now I know that I should be more cautious now about how I go about our friendship. It's easy to forget that you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket you know?
#9
Thank you,

That explains it better!
I think the reason she is jealous is that she wants you all to herself.
It is certain she is insecure.

You are gay, so she can't have you in that way. She has to deal with that and you should do you own thing. If she chooses to be an island it doesn't mean you should. Maybe tell her that you value her friendship and will try to be a friend to her but that you are looking for more than a friendship for personal fulfillment and to do that you need a man.

Her reactions are all wrong and rather than being happy for you she is only thinking of herself. Perhaps the best thing to do is to let her swim on her own for a while and take a grip. She seems far too reliant on you and is hindering you. This is doing neither of you any favours.
Unfortunately only you can make the decision here.

Good Luck with it anyway and I hope it all works out well, whatever it is you decide to do.
#10
It's the old double-standard between a fag hag and her fag.

How DARE a "fag" be able to get a man before SHE does.
In other words, jealousy.

Simple as that.


She may be your friend, but watch out.....she's going to be playing dirty in this game. Probably either trying to "steal" every guy you are interested in, or make him hate you in some way.

Seen this so many times.....


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