Capricorn
02-21-2014, 03:38 PM
Hello! I've just finished to write my first story in English. It's short, about 2500 words but long enough to publish it on Amazon :biggrin:. However, English is not my mother tongue and I'm sure I made some mistakes and I need a proof-reader. If there is anyone willing to help me I would highly appreciate it. The story is called "Life is not a tale. Bullying is not fantasy" and it's about growing up and religion, fantasy genre. Below you can find a piece of it:
"There was a land created by a ubiquitous power, populated by people who were conscious of a higher presence which the whole nature confirmed. Streams sang a glorious song and flowers raised their petals towards the sky; plants, trees, rivers and oceans spread the word of love so human beings could discover its roots. If you asked even a small stone, it gladly explained you the rules of the land.
The mysterious power didnât give any commandments to mankind. It didnât require worshiping or praising, leaving only ten words of love: Everyone will be redeemed. No one has to be scared.
The settlers of the land were not able to distinguish between good and wrong. They could feel it deeply inside, connected by roots with nature and the power. However, it was not necessary to follow those feelings. If you didnât, you would hurt the power and its creation so also yourself. But in the end there would be forgiveness. The power would redeem all mankind and you earthy life wouldnât be important anymore".
If anyone would like to contribute in such a project, pm please
Maybe I'll become next gay Rowling and you my proof-reader 
"There was a land created by a ubiquitous power, populated by people who were conscious of a higher presence which the whole nature confirmed. Streams sang a glorious song and flowers raised their petals towards the sky; plants, trees, rivers and oceans spread the word of love so human beings could discover its roots. If you asked even a small stone, it gladly explained you the rules of the land.
The mysterious power didnât give any commandments to mankind. It didnât require worshiping or praising, leaving only ten words of love: Everyone will be redeemed. No one has to be scared.
The settlers of the land were not able to distinguish between good and wrong. They could feel it deeply inside, connected by roots with nature and the power. However, it was not necessary to follow those feelings. If you didnât, you would hurt the power and its creation so also yourself. But in the end there would be forgiveness. The power would redeem all mankind and you earthy life wouldnât be important anymore".
If anyone would like to contribute in such a project, pm please
Maybe I'll become next gay Rowling and you my proof-reader
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
