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Masochism and roleplay/teasing
#1
I'm rather curious to know the answer to this - Cowsleep

I have a work friend who I have a pretty big crush on, but I especially like it when he teases me about my weight, or talks down to me. He's never genuinely mean or nasty and is a good friend to me, it's mostly just playful dominance, but now I'm starting to really enjoy it and crave it. He's well aware of the fact and uses it on me often when I talk to him.

Most people would take offence to some jock pointing out their belly, or having someone insult them, even in jest. Sometimes I say hi to him and he almost ignores me but other times he'll smile and rub my belly a little, maybe call me pup, and I melt a bit and blush deeply. He's told me he likes S&M and really enjoys training guys, plus he is VERY handsome alpha male type. Lately more and more I kind of want to try it but it seems scary.

I suppose what I'm wondering is why I'm attracted to this sort of behaviour? it makes no sense from a human point of view why I should enjoy derogatory or hurtful comments, or emotional or physical pain. It confuses me... What is it about human nature that in some cases makes masochism a pleasurable experience?

I'm aware it may be to do with issues of self-respect and all kinds of things. I'm not looking for a deep psychological evaluation, just wondered whether I am crazy or if anyone else here can shed any light.
#2
As someone who isn't drawn to that I can't really say...but I do know a great many men, and even more women, are also drawn to that (ok, not joking about the weight, although a few like even that), so it's pretty common.

One GUESS is that by his establishing such dominance you feel protected from anyone who'd do you REAL harm and thus safe...and safe can be an exciting aphrodisiac. But I base that on how I'm wired where my sex drive goes to zero when I feel threatened (I really don't understand all the woman who find danger to be sexually exciting and I wonder if such women find that's true of real life or just their fantasies where they retain total control and thus aren't in any real danger).

Another observation, for what it's worth, is that guys tend to give each other a hard time, like insults to the punch on the arm. I assumed it was a "tough guy" thing (even when it's more silly than actual toughness), that is, proving toughness by doing it AND enduring it. But maybe it's a bonding thing, too. Come to think of it don't many male athletes pretty much smack each other's butt all the time?
#3
As a Dom, yes I think I can help here. Smile

First you aren't crazy, and not the only one that's aroused by being belittled by someone you know does not actually mean it as an insult. Many people enjoy degradation play, being made into a slut puppy, fat whore and the like, even feminized for it in role play.

Nothing wrong with being either a physical or emotional masochist as long as it's not affecting your self esteem or self worth and, is strictly for role play. It is a submissive role and, a submissive is NOT a door mat by any stretch of the idea. As long as you are a strong, confident person outside of play, go for it and have fun.
#4
hmmmm tittilation! Sagrin
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
#5
It is to find pleasure in being controlled and lose of your will where the dominant part even control the pain you get and turn you on. If is not done properly you may end up very hurt.


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