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Mommy mommy jokes
#1
Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet?
Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute.
Can Granny take me?
Why?
Her hand shakes.

Mommy, Mommy! Why is my hair so slimey?
Shut up, you little snot.


Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
Shut up Albert....



Mommy, mommy, what is a deliquant child?
Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.
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#2
Heres a local one;

Mama, mama, wahs fa supper doe?

Duck and Peas

Wah you mean duck and peas mama?

Duck unda de table and peeze out de duwa. :I

~~

And some mama jokes :-P


Ya mama's so dumb, she thought a quarter back was a refund.

Ya mama's so big, whales sing 'we are family' when they see her.

Ya Mama's so ugly, her hair line prematurely retreated in fright.


We were very naughty kids in school lolz
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#3
son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara falls!
mom: Shut up and get back in the barrel!


son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to go to England.
mom: Shut up and keep swimming.


on: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a big head?
mom: Don't worry. Take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store

Mommy, Mommy, don't push to the elevator shAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT!
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#4
Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the right way to cook Peking Duck?"
Shut up and close the microvawe oven door behind you!

Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?
Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!

Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?
Shut up and eat your cornflakes!

Mommy, Mommy! Whats an orgasm?
I don't know dear, ask your father.

Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy so pale?
Shut up and keep digging.

Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Shut up son, you'll wake your father.
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#5
MisterTinkles Wrote:Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the right way to cook Peking Duck?"
Shut up and close the microvawe oven door behind you!

Sniffff.... Biglaugh
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#6
[SIZE="3"]Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma! Shut up and keep digging.

Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running? Shut up and reload.

Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac? Shut up and help me get Gramma off the doorknob!

Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup! Shut up, we only have it once a month.[/SIZE]
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#7
Mommy, mommy why is there meat in my vegan soup?
Hun remember you are a leper
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline.
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#8
[SIZE="3"]Mommy, Mommy! What's an Oedipus complex?
Shut up and kiss me!

Mommy, Mommy! I don't like your milk!
Shut up and keep on sucking.

"Come upstairs, son, like a good boy."
"No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again."[/SIZE]
Reply
#9
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street!

Shut up and step on the gas!
Reply
#10
Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl?

No flush like everyone else!
Reply


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