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My Favorite Housmate
So, I was going to include this as a response to my intro post, seeing as I totally neglected to mention this tumultuous tale.

I guess he should be notated here as "S". S had been in a few of my classes when I started studying Applied Ecology (I started in Biology). He's also in a related degree, and at first I never really knew who he was (if that's not obvious) but in my degree we are required to attend what's known as Fall Camp the fall semester of our Junior year. It's a kind of intensive curriculum intended to give as much field-experience as possible and occurs at a satellite campus in the middle of the woods about an hour south of main campus.

As my fall semester approached, I looked very negatively upon my coming experience, considering that for mostly unknown reasons, a lot of the people that would be there hate me. As often turns out, I was duly surprised that within the first week I began to become part of a great group of people who all smoked, and had a lot of other similar interests, like D&D and good music. As the semester progressed, my group found out that a number of other people around the camp were of like minds, one of which being S of course... and he smoked too:biggrin: The semester came and went, I had a fabulous time and my semester in Germany aside, it turned out to be my favorite time in Uni.

I returned from Germany the following summer and lived in a shitty apartment while doing some field work around the Keweenaw Peninsula (the UPPER Upper Peninsula of Michigan). Following the summer I began classes again, one of which caught my attention greatly: Racquetball! I've never been an athletic person, and never really understood competitive sports and what-not, but let me say, Racquetball is amazing, it is the sport I love above all others. I had it with a friend from Fall Camp and we really enjoyed it and started playing recreationally. Shortly I discovered that S used to play racquetball in high school and was interested in playing with us (by now he was also a pretty good friend of mine, not really hanging out outside of school, but on friend terms). And so S became one of my regular opponents.

I'd like to add here that I love saunas, and that if you feel that way, Michigan's upper peninsula is a great place to be... oh and I LOVE saunas. As such I couldn't help but sauna after EVERY racquetball game, seeing as our locker-room had a decent one available to students. I'm also pretty un-ashamed of much of anything and least of all my body, so of course, I sauna naked. So to tie this back into the story, S and I start playing racquetball regularly and he, being of Finish descent also was/is a big fan of saunas. Our first sauna together, he wore trunks of some sort to the sauna and (for not the first time ever) he looked good. At this point I was not romantically or really even sexually interested in him, he was just a good friend... and I noticed he was physically attractive.

The next sauna, he skipped the trunks and came in bare-assed. He looked damn fine (when seeing the whole package for the first time). He's of normal stature, somewhere around 5' 9" or 6'. He has a muscular build, the perfect muscular build I'd say, and I'm not much of muscle-fan, very toned and tight. His pecs :biggrin: are gorgeous, sticking out from his chest enough to let you know that he could hold you real tight.Rolleyes Strong legs built from years of hockey and mountain biking support his nice firmly toned perfectly rounded ass, and to top it all off he's got a nice big cut cock, shrouded in a fine layer of golden pubic hair. Lastly to top it all off he's got a beautiful Finish blonde head of hair cut short and wispy, paired with two beautiful blue eyes and a strong jawline which can produce one of the most angelic, as well as one of the most devious grins around. Oh shit, long description, where was I.... the point is damn he looks fine, and I got to see him naked and dripping wet a lot, as well as sharing the joy of competing with him on the court.

Unfortunately the end of this year brought a crushing blow with the suicide of my best friend at the time. Being a friend I had made at Fall Camp, S and my other friends knew him well as well, and we joined together in the celebration of his life. This brought us closer together, as is usually the case and one semester later I was looking for something to do/somewhere to stay for the coming summer. After much deliberation, I decided to ask S if I could live with him over the summer (still not romantically interested at this point, or really sexually, the sexual attraction has really developed mostly over the last two months...). S's parents had attended school in the U.P. and owned an old mining house in an old settlement about 5 miles out of town. When he began attending college, it was only sensible that he live out there, thus this being where I was hoping to spend the summer.

S thought about it and asked his parents, and they agreed that for $100/month I could live out there for the summer.... and so I moved in. The house was great, and S had a great living out there. He was very conscious of recycling, composting and reusing and that made me happy. I had always wanted to do those things somewhere that I lived, but no one else I lived with was ever into it. Plus he cooked real food instead of buying it, much like myself. With time everything came together, we shared food, beer, pot, gas and pretty much all of our time with each other, seeing as there weren't a lot of other people around for the summer to hang out with and what-not. We went camping, biked, played racquetball, sauna'ed:biggrin: etc. We even came to an agreement that I should only pay $80 a month seeing as his parents let him collect the money and that it was pretty irrelevant to him how much it was all in all.

As I moved out it began to occur to me how much I would soon miss his company... thank goodness he was in almost all of my classes for spring semester, and yet it still bothered me that I wouldn't be hanging out with him up until we went to bed every night like we had before. The feeling grew and grew and I continued to be in denial and convince myself that I wasn't interested in him... that didn't work. And so now I'm done with school and I've left for Marquette a two hours drive from Michigan Tech while he remains for another semester. Sitting at home now over the holidays it kills me to think how much I would love to spend this time of year with him and how I really want to be with him, but that it'll never happen.

Throughout the years he's always talked about pursuing girls (though with no real luck of any sort), and I'm pretty certain he's pretty straight and it seems like there's no way in hell he'd ever be interested in me. Oh, and he totally knows about my feelings towardes men. That being said, while I was typing this he posted something on my Facebook wall... and a post on one of my most favorite topics: psychedelics.

So am I doomed forever more or should I try to pursue him, I wouldn't know how, it seems like it'd be difficult, and as you all know I would face the consequence of possibly ruining our friendship. Or should I just forget the whole thing and get over him (damnit! I don't wanna!!!)

-Der Jack
"Lately it occurs to me, what a long strange trip it's been"

P.S. I know it's pretty sporadic and maybe occasionally lacking focus, but I hope you made it through alright and commend you on your ability to endure my writing. Please any comments would be greatly appreciated... I guess that goes without saying.

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