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Need help
#1
Hello

I would normall go and speak to my boyfriend about this, however he's on holiday. I don't want to ruin it for him, but also my mind is about to explode with all these questions in my head.

So here I am looking for advice. We've been together for 2 years now!

A year ago, I find out he is on this 'scruff' app that allows him to sext with people all over the world, share cock pics etc. Which we talked about. I told him I was fine with, however he insisted on deleting it (even though I didn't mind from what he told me).

Fast forward one year, everything is great we have moved in together, I feel his 100% emotionally invested in the relationship with most of our free time hanging out together.

Last week my phone breaks down, and I end up using his spare one. I DID NOT INTENTIONALLY GO BREAKING HIS TRUST OR PRIVACY.

But I start receiving notifications from this app. So clearly he downloaded it again. I went through some of the messages and they are very explicit. Fantasising about meeting up and having sex (and in some chats threesomes with me). He is open about having a boyfriend. But my main issues are

1. He did it without telling me and left me thinking he has sacrificed a big part of his life for me.

2. He is so sexually explicit and clearly is very horny (I always assumed his sex drive was a bit obtunded being a bit older than me). But he is on that app talking about how he can wank 3 times a day. He uses it about once/twice a month. If I am on a night shift or away on holiday. But I feel jealous as to why he's not so sexually explicit with me. And seems to be hiding that side of himself from me. He also talks about how they're perfect and how they would marry them, but how his boyfriend isn't 'sporty' but cute and smart.

3. In a couple of messages he talked to two guys about meeting up, but it all seemed innocent (i.e. in the heat of the moment talking about coming over for a weekend because oh you live so close and oh we will fuck all day and all night) but nothing seem to go further than that.

4. He had a long chat with one guy about me. The guy seemed to be concerned about what I would feel if I find out.
He replied with "He knows, and he is fine with it! I don't like jealous guys and this is very innocent, just like watching porn".

But is it really like watching porn? When I watch porn I seem to fantasise about him , while this seems a bit more like seeking a connection with another person.

How the hell do I approach this with him? He knows there is something I need to talk about. I have no clue and thinking it through with someone might help.


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