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Relationship
#1
Am seeking a relationship with minimal sex.  Am more interested in doing things.  The apps bars and forums all seem to be dominated by hyper sexual sluts. Can anyone suggest a way to meet gay men that arent dysfunctional, or at least minimally so?  Thanks. Prairieville, Louisiana.
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#2
Well there isn't a solid answer to that, some apps might lend more favorable to the type of person you're looking for... In other words Grindr probably isn't going to land you much success, but maybe Facebook Dating or POF, something like those in my experience is a bit better.

That being said, men who have higher sex drives doesn't make them dysfunctional. Just be upfront with the person you're talking to and ask that they be upfront with you.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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  • eastofeden
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#3
This is just my opinion based on my own life experience - try avoiding a relationship - it seems to attract alot more men - oooohhh the irony of it all. Alot of my friends who were always looking didn't have much luck. 

Seriously - I never once wished I had a boyfriend or husband. I loved being single - and here I am 34 years later with my husband. I told him when I met him that I was trying to avoid falling in love and for some reason that acts like an aphrodisiac for alot of guys. 

Based on that - I would suggest just hanging out with other gay men - maybe clubs or organizations or volunteering for something that would interest you. Make some friends who also have friends and let it be organic if possible. I am not familiar with dating apps so I have no clue if they are a good idea or not.
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  • IanSaysHi
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#4
(08-10-2021, 12:29 PM)katzgar Wrote: Am seeking a relationship with minimal sex.  Am more interested in doing things.  The apps bars and forums all seem to be dominated by hyper sexual sluts. Can anyone suggest a way to meet gay men that arent dysfunctional, or at least minimally so?  Thanks. Prairieville, Louisiana.

Perhaps give Coffee Meets Bagel a try. It's an online dating app like Grindr. But unlike Grindr, Coffee Meets Bagel has higher quality members and more dating-focused features. I've used the app before. Most guys in the app are looking for long term commitment. Not as famous as Tinder but give it a try.

I'm not using anymore because I'm not looking. Was introduced by a colleague asking me to try. Went out (lunch) with two guys. Nice guys. 
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#5
(08-10-2021, 04:01 PM)eastofeden Wrote: This is just my opinion based on my own life experience - try avoiding a relationship - it seems to attract alot more men - oooohhh the irony of it all. Alot of my friends who were always looking didn't have much luck. 

Seriously - I never once wished I had a boyfriend or husband. I loved being single - and here I am 34 years later with my husband. I told him when I met him that I was trying to avoid falling in love and for some reason that acts like an aphrodisiac for alot of guys. 

Based on that - I would suggest just hanging out with other gay men - maybe clubs or organizations or volunteering for something that would interest you. Make some friends who also have friends and let it be organic if possible. I am not familiar with dating apps so I have no clue if they are a good idea or not.

My current plan is to volunteer for PFLAG and similar in the hope of meeting a better class of guy.  I realized I am gay 2 years ago at the age of 69 so am on an unusual arc to say the least. 
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  • eastofeden
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#6
(08-10-2021, 05:07 PM)Jay Wrote:
(08-10-2021, 12:29 PM)katzgar Wrote: Am seeking a relationship with minimal sex.  Am more interested in doing things.  The apps bars and forums all seem to be dominated by hyper sexual sluts. Can anyone suggest a way to meet gay men that arent dysfunctional, or at least minimally so?  Thanks. Prairieville, Louisiana.

Perhaps give Coffee Meets Bagel a try. It's an online dating app like Grindr. But unlike Grindr, Coffee Meets Bagel has higher quality members and more dating-focused features. I've used the app before. Most guys in the app are looking for long term commitment. Not as famous as Tinder but give it a try.

I'm not using anymore because I'm not looking. Was introduced by a colleague asking me to try. Went out (lunch) with two guys. Nice guys. 

thanks
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  • eastofeden
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#7
(08-10-2021, 07:10 PM)katzgar Wrote:
(08-10-2021, 05:07 PM)Jay Wrote:
(08-10-2021, 12:29 PM)katzgar Wrote: Am seeking a relationship with minimal sex.  Am more interested in doing things.  The apps bars and forums all seem to be dominated by hyper sexual sluts. Can anyone suggest a way to meet gay men that arent dysfunctional, or at least minimally so?  Thanks. Prairieville, Louisiana.

Perhaps give Coffee Meets Bagel a try. It's an online dating app like Grindr. But unlike Grindr, Coffee Meets Bagel has higher quality members and more dating-focused features. I've used the app before. Most guys in the app are looking for long term commitment. Not as famous as Tinder but give it a try.

I'm not using anymore because I'm not looking. Was introduced by a colleague asking me to try. Went out (lunch) with two guys. Nice guys. 

tried it, the free part and just was approached by catfish scammers
thanks

(08-10-2021, 02:51 PM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: Well there isn't a solid answer to that, some apps might lend more favorable to the type of person you're looking for... In other words Grindr probably isn't going to land you much success, but maybe Facebook Dating or POF, something like those in my experience is a bit better.

That being said, men who have higher sex drives doesn't make them dysfunctional. Just be upfront with the person you're talking to and ask that they be upfront with you.

when a sex drive becomes an obsession it is indeed dysfunctional.
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#8
(10-23-2021, 01:35 PM)katzgar Wrote: when a sex drive becomes an obsession it is indeed dysfunctional.

So, at what point is one's sex drive does it become an obsession? What about abstinence?

Likewise extremes probably aren't a good thing and both could be a sign of a problem, whether it is physical health or mental health. At what point is it a problem? I went without sex for over 2 years in a relationship, I think that was a problem in that relationship.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
Check out my stuff!
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