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Serious Sex
#1
I am close friends with a gay couple and I was talking about sex a few weeks ago with them. They've been together for a long time (10 years) and I asked them if they'd mind telling me about their sex life.

They have strange views on sex, but all for "good" reasons. Mutual masturbation and frot (rubbing their penises together) accounts for almost all of their sexual activity. They are opposed to anal sex, with the logic that someone has to receive and that receiving undermines your masculinity. Also, they said they never clean up the semen after they're done; laying there with some wetness on your body is part of the act.

They said that there are three guidelines they follow in the bedroom:

1. All sexual activity leads both people to orgasm together. (As opposed to, "I'll suck you then you jerk me off")
2. Everything focuses on them having sex as two men and no one submits to the other.
3. Problems in their relationship are worked out before having sex.


I feel that they have a very special relationship; they're very spiritual and seem to love each-other very much. They view sex as a very powerful tool to express their love and are very careful with it. I wish I could be more like them.

Do others have thoughts on this?
#2
Sounds great for them, though.... not quite what I'm interested in. I am as of yet a vrigin, but anal is a very large interest of mine in a sexual relationship.... and overall I feel that sex should be whatever the two (or more for some) who participate in the act wish it to be.

In reference to their guidelines I'd say that to me personally 1. both people should reach orgasm, pleasure should be achieved all around, together at the same moment.... not necessary, perhaps at times ideal, but without voicing "I"ll suck you then you jerk me off" such a maneuver I feel could be just as passionate as any other... 2. Submitting to a loved one in some fashion can be a very intimate sharing of one's self with a partner.... keeping in mind that submission is not outright master-slave (also keeping in mind that I don't see how receiving pleasure undermines one's masculinity....) 3. I also feel this is a pretty good rule...

But in the end I feel like whatever it is that makes you happy is what you should do... I think that there are many ways to have a very special loving relationship with another human being, you just have to figure out what works for you and that other person. Confusedmile:
#3
michaelson Wrote:I am close friends with a gay couple and I was talking about sex a few weeks ago with them. They've been together for a long time (10 years) and I asked them if they'd mind telling me about their sex life.

They have strange views on sex, but all for "good" reasons. Mutual masturbation and frot (rubbing their penises together) accounts for almost all of their sexual activity. They are opposed to anal sex, with the logic that someone has to receive and that receiving undermines your masculinity. Also, they said they never clean up the semen after they're done; laying there with some wetness on your body is part of the act.

They said that there are three guidelines they follow in the bedroom:

1. All sexual activity leads both people to orgasm together. (As opposed to, "I'll suck you then you jerk me off")
2. Everything focuses on them having sex as two men and no one submits to the other.
3. Problems in their relationship are worked out before having sex.


I feel that they have a very special relationship; they're very spiritual and seem to love each-other very much. They view sex as a very powerful tool to express their love and are very careful with it. I wish I could be more like them.

Do others have thoughts on this?


While it is engaging that a couple can have a spiritual stance on their joint / common sexual life, it's also a deeply personal thing. I don't think we can ever imitate what another couple, threesome, single person has. Of course, many of us would love to live up to the common idea that sex is shared and brings both (all three, etc) people fun, excitement, orgasm and appeasement. Sometimes, the mechanics of sex are not so easy to control nor so simple. For instance, I wonder how many people actually manage to have simultaneous orgasms. Is it really something to strive for?

You can give yourself more leeway to express your sexuality as you find fit and as your can manage at any one time. Not everyone is in a solid relationship. Not everyone is seeking one. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a permanent relationship with someone. It is all very much a question of individual preference and, of course, of personal luck. One thing is sure, sexuality has such a powerful grip on us and our relationships to others that it needs to find an outlet and needs to be expressed. So make the most of it, when and while you can, while taking care of your mental, emotional and physical health. That's the best you can do to enjoy a fulfilling and fulfilled sexual life. I'm not one to think that abstinence is the way to go about it. It seems to be just a source of frustration and maybe anger.
#4
DerJack Wrote:Sounds great for them, though.... not quite what I'm interested in. I am as of yet a vrigin, but anal is a very large interest of mine in a sexual relationship.... and overall I feel that sex should be whatever the two (or more for some) who participate in the act wish it to be.

In reference to their guidelines I'd say that to me personally 1. both people should reach orgasm, pleasure should be achieved all around, together at the same moment.... not necessary, perhaps at times ideal, but without voicing "I"ll suck you then you jerk me off" such a maneuver I feel could be just as passionate as any other... 2. Submitting to a loved one in some fashion can be a very intimate sharing of one's self with a partner.... keeping in mind that submission is not outright master-slave (also keeping in mind that I don't see how receiving pleasure undermines one's masculinity....) 3. I also feel this is a pretty good rule...

But in the end I feel like whatever it is that makes you happy is what you should do... I think that there are many ways to have a very special loving relationship with another human being, you just have to figure out what works for you and that other person. Confusedmile:
Kind of agree with your number 2 Jack, as in some cases, some men will even think and say: are you MAN ENOUGH to TAKE it? It doesn't undermine anyone's manliness nor masculinity. This is very much a psychological fear that taking someone else's penis inside you will make you feminine, it doesn't. You won't suddenly start producing children and grow breasts.
#5
So they sound very in-love and obviously understands each other, it sounds like they also set boundaries depending on both of their perspectives on sex. They know how to work out their problems, not everyday you see this kind of love.

That's so great, but also keep in mind that though the two of them have and share one perspective on sex (which is absolutely great in a relationship, you need both partners to agree), other people have different perspective which could probably be quite the opposite.

My thoughts on their opinions is they are serious about having a prosperous relationship, seems like both of them respect and love each other. Good for them.
#6
This is something the couples work out as they have. My husband and me were both tops and had no desire to bottom. We work out and found lots of ways of having sex without somebody being the bottom. This is something couples work out and you find out you get a lot of pleaser seeing your partner happy. The thing they also did was talk things out before sex. Ours was never go to bed mad. We were happy tell his death and I miss him.
#7
If that is what works for them...sounds great! We all need to find what works for us as an individual and a couple and hopefully be true to ourselves in the process. Actually the couples I saw when I was 21 that were really glowing and serene and seemed to be the most in love were the dominant/submissive couples. I never forgot that because it fascinated me as I expected them to be miserable or something. It taught me not to put value judgements on sexual acts between consenting adults.

Having said that....the sexual rules of the couple above sound like a nightmare to me. Way too controlling for my tastes. I had a boyfriend once who told me that it means "love" if we came at the same time. He was obsessive. I kept trying NOT to come at the same time so he could decide we weren't in "love" before I had to tell him.
#8
Hello,
I think when it comes to sex its what each other wants that counts. I wouldnt say doing anal is a sign of being a bit feminine at the end of the day if the dick wasnt ment to go up there then why did nature design the arse to take it? I think regardless what your into as long as you can please the other in a way to make them enjoy the motion regardless then it is a worth while thing and sbtrains im sorry to hear about your loss... I often beleive in circumstances like this u may miss him physically but his still there with u in spirit and menbtally
#9
I've been in multiple kinds of sexual relationships, though I feel uncomfortable talking about the details. Basically, it's all good, if it works for those involved.
#10
michaelson Wrote:I am close friends with a gay couple and I was talking about sex a few weeks ago with them. They've been together for a long time (10 years) and I asked them if they'd mind telling me about their sex life.

They have strange views on sex, but all for "good" reasons. Mutual masturbation and frot (rubbing their penises together) accounts for almost all of their sexual activity. They are opposed to anal sex, with the logic that someone has to receive and that receiving undermines your masculinity. Also, they said they never clean up the semen after they're done; laying there with some wetness on your body is part of the act.

They said that there are three guidelines they follow in the bedroom:

1. All sexual activity leads both people to orgasm together. (As opposed to, "I'll suck you then you jerk me off")
2. Everything focuses on them having sex as two men and no one submits to the other.
3. Problems in their relationship are worked out before having sex.


I feel that they have a very special relationship; they're very spiritual and seem to love each-other very much. They view sex as a very powerful tool to express their love and are very careful with it. I wish I could be more like them.

Do others have thoughts on this?

This is exactly how I would see the perfect relationship being in my eyes.
I just cant expect to find another guy to have the same concept with sex.
For instance my boyfriend and I dont have sex that often if at all.
He isnt very sexual and I am very sexual.
For him sex consist of topping. He cant orgasm unless jerking off or topping.
Its unfortunate because I have the same view on sex as the couple you described.
To be honest its tough, because I am always horny and I am never fulfilled.
Sometimes, I just cant bare the limitations and rarity of sex actually happening.
But I love my boyfriend and I wouldnt give up on a nice relationship just because of sexual frustation.


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