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There is no LGBT community
#11
[like]...................
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#12
I agree that is a generalization, and you should rethink thing's a little. Granted being told your apart of a community doesn't automatically relate you to everyone, but I think it's more for support if your looking for it or to meet others and make friends at least that's what I think. Having no friends in RL myself I wouldn't mind a local group just to socialize, and meet new friends, but there's none I know of in my area. The closest thing is the meet up in the park every year for LGBT day if memory serves me right, but I've never been to it always too shy which kind of defeat's the purpose of socializing. lol Tongue Sorry to ramble. Smile
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#13
Anonymous Wrote:I've never liked this term and try to ignore it but it's everywhere now, with varying other letters and identities added on to it which makes it even worse

My community is my boyfriend and the people who care about me. I will be honest I've never met a lesbian I liked and I've known a few, being told I'm in a community with them or any other random ambiguous sexuality every five seconds is insulting
I can understand >Your< perception of the gay community is skewed. ..

I would say your experience is "limited".. and you most certainly lack the enthusiasm it takes to recognize and appreciate a true sense of community.

P.s.
I'm not being rude at all..


"Your " community starts with YOU.
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#14
You are right, in that there isn't a single unified LGBT community.

Though people with commonalities often form communities.
Sexual and gender minorities often operate together politically due to the similarity of the struggles they face, this often leads to communities of these minorities forming.
It's not exactly rocket science.

By no means must you participate in a community.
Though you may be able to find a strictly gay men community that have the same problems with the other minorities as you; but I think that could be quite difficult.

Regardless, if I were you, I wouldn't waste time and energy getting annoyed over something you have no control over.
Others aren't going to change just because you don't like lesbians.
Silly Sarcastic So-and-so
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#15
Anonymous Wrote:I've never liked this term and try to ignore it but it's everywhere now, with varying other letters and identities added on to it which makes it even worse

My community is my boyfriend and the people who care about me. I will be honest I've never met a lesbian I liked and I've known a few, being told I'm in a community with them or any other random ambiguous sexuality every five seconds is insulting

Quote:A community is a social unit of any size that shares common values, or that is situated in a given geographical area (e.g. a village or town). It is a group of people who are connected by durable relations that extend beyond immediate genealogical ties, and who usually define that relationship as important to their social identity and practice.[1][need quotation to verify][2] Although communities are usually small, "community" may also refer to large groups, such as national communities, international communities, and virtual communities.
The word "community" derives from the Old French comuneté which comes from the Latin communitas (from Latin communis, things held in common).[3]
Human communities may share intent, belief, resources, preferences, needs, and risks in common, affecting the identity of the participants and their degree of cohesiveness.[citation needed]

So the people fighting for equal rights in other states and your state aren't part of your immediate community, but they are part of the overall community. Things held in common like: identity erasure, harassment, abuse, & hate, isolation, unequal rights

My boyfriend brings up now and then that things are different for him, that I was able to pass as straight heterosexual all these years, was in a marriage to a woman for 21 years, never faced the discrimination he does. Sure people don't give me a second look because I'm purposely "the gray man" I do my best to blend in, not make waves. Granted, I'm slowly changing that, with an eyebrow piercing and a unique haircut (and sometimes holding hands with my 20 year old boyfriend in public when he lets me.) What he forgets is the deep secret I've kept all these years, and how that has affected me.

My boyfriend isn't afraid to be who he wants to be, long hair, makeup, long nails. He is a glam-boy straight from the 70's (though I wish I would have met him back then.)

Despite our differences in growing up, coming out, and living our authentic lives, we do share enough with the struggles of all people hiding their sexuality, living in fear of coming out, and feeling beaten down by a society that misunderstands us.
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#16
Boaxy Wrote:There isn't anymore. In the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s there was. Ever since the late 2000s gays kinda fended for themselves and go their own way and stay in their cliques and keep to themselves.

Everyone being defensive of you proves your point.

No, what proves his point and fits your description quite nicely is his own hatred for lesbians.
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#17
Boaxy Wrote:That's dismissive.

His dialogue was there is no gay community anymore, and I agree.

Telling things like they are is not being dismissive.

Yes, I agree too that there is no such thing, although not for the same reasons.

Read his OP, he's not talking about a prior time vs a current time, he has a problem with some of the components that are widely accepted as the "community", he even says so himself, he finds it offensive.

Here, I'll give it to you so you can read it again

I've never liked this term and try to ignore it but it's everywhere now, with varying other letters and identities added on to it which makes it even worse

My community is my boyfriend and the people who care about me. I will be honest I've never met a lesbian I liked and I've known a few, being told I'm in a community with them or any other random ambiguous sexuality every five seconds is insulting


Seeming how you yourself stated very correctly that the merge was made for the fight to gain rights, it is clear that he doesn't have that in mind and instead the statement he made is mainly due to his declared distate for lesbians.
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#18
Boaxy Wrote:How does he hate lesbians?

He said he hasn't met one that he liked from the few he's been introduced with. From my experience, the only lesbians I gotten along with were the ones that were in my family. Lesbians I knew from school or from youth groups in my area, always hung out with the lesbians or trans men. They never hung out with fem gay guys like me. That's ok.

I do see what he means that certain cliques and groups, (if you can find the one you're supposed to be apart of) aren't welcoming to people outside the group, which causes a full circle division with those who are LGBTABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP, leading to why he says there is no gay community.

We have differing views on what he said then.

It's the part where he says "being told I'm in a community with them or any other random ambiguous sexuality every five seconds is insulting" that shows his distate. He went from stating dislike for a few people he met to an entire group. That shows contempt for the group itself.
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#19
Boaxy Wrote:That's dismissive.

His dialogue was there is no gay community anymore, and I agree.

Not really.

While it is true that the Information Age has devastated the LGBT community through the advent of apps like Grinder and Scruff, leading to the devaluation of gay bars and face-to-face interaction, that isn't what the op is contending.

He seems to feel that the community described as LGBT is a misnomer because he doesn't want to be associated with Lesbians.

Totally different thing.

~Beaux
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#20
Boaxy Wrote:He's saying that based on his experiences and what he has been through.

He has every right to not label himself as a gay man or want to be included with Lesbians and transgenders, as why should he.

I understand what he means, that Lesbians and Gay men are not the same and go through two different struggles and issues, and why should he or really all facets of the LGBT spectrum, be grouped with people that don't go through the same issues that he does?

Notice that you said "different struggles". Read another one of his posts below and you'll see he says lesbians have it better than us.

Which one sounds more like a correct statement to you?

No one here is questioning the core phrase as to whether there is or isn't a LGBT community, but the misconstrued reasons that lead the OP to make such a comment.

If he had said anything on the likes of what you have said, gave proper arguments like yours, no one would have called him out. Instead he just portrays discriminatory attitude towards a group of people, some of which are members here. That is not correct.
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