Very dissapointed......

[SHOman93]

merid, I couldn't help but feeling inadequate. Like I wasn't what he expected me to be. And that's really unfair to me because I dont know what he was expecting. I told him after the third time we hung out that I felt I was boring him because we hadnt had sex yet. He was like please god, dont say that. So, in summary, I think he was understanding of my feelings. Thanks for the advice

reaper, the more I hear that my experience is shared with other people the more I release my thoughts of that it was just me. I keep forgetting that this is my first, both in general and with him. I need to become more comfortable with the feeling of sex. That just comes with time, i guess. Lol. And I hope you and your Bf have fun

Twist, Was it scary? Hell yes. Was I nervous? Hell to the yes. And yeah, my comfort level with sex will most certainly increase with time. Now that I look back at it, I think I rushed myself into it. He never pushed or pressured me. It was all me pushing forward. Maybe I wasn't as ready as I thought I was. But can't change the past, YOLO. Thanks for your good wishes

Little question for you guys, he knows that I like him. And I think he likes me back. Will this awkward situation hamper my chance of having a relationship with him? Like should I ask him to hang out again or wait for him to say something?

Thanks you guys

[MikeW]

Will this awkward situation hamper my chance of having a relationship with him? Like should I ask him to hang out again or wait for him to say something?

Dude, you need to learn to R E L A X and enjoy the life you have right now! Sounds to me like the "awkwardness" is more in your head than his -- so, just let it go. It is what it is -- and whatever happens next, that will be whatever it is. For sure, if you want to hang out with him ASK HIM for heaven's sake.

I'm sorry if I'm coming across a tad impatient. I don't know how to say it but I see this happen over and over and over again, especially with young gay guys -- they get themselves so tied up in knots trying to control or second-guess the outcome of things, they miss what's right in front of them.

As someone above hinted, a relationship can lasts 10 minutes or a lifetime. The ones that last a lifetime -- well, chances are they were not the FIRST connection someone made with another guy. (Possible but highly unlikely.) You should be having fun, pleasuring yourself and your friend, and learning new things, skills, techniques, what turns you on and what doesn't -- all that is what your explorations are about right now. If you want something, go for it. For sure sometimes you'll get shot down, but, you know, that's life.

[Pcolakuntryboy]

Just a suggestion, but try fooling around in the dark (if you haven't already). If you're nervous sometimes seeing too much can cause problems. I find having sex in the dark more relaxing, and it increases the other senses, like touch and smell.

[ck86]

I was the time the first time. It was hot as but I think it was down to not being used to it. Just relax, enjoy it and it may take a few times to readjust to the sensation and also new things you might like.

[Hardheaded1]

We have no crystal ball about the relationship. That is up to you two to figure out and explore, but a shared vulnerability is often a strong glue when experienced in a loving, trusting way.

As exciting as sex is, remember to keep it in perspective. It is but one dimension of a bond. Observe those about you as well as those posting about sex online. Some let it become a measure of the man, and actually filter out partners as if they were some sort of throroughbred horse or other performing animal. Whereas a thoroughbred is indeed a beautiful animal, it is bred pretty much for just that one function -- to run. Despite evolution's favoring of a successful breeder in men, it has favored us with a lot more and more important (socially) traits than performing sex acts.

As you contemplate your partner's generosity, creativity, kindness, intellect, drive, innovation, diligence, patience, courage, humor, playfulness, strength, charm, wit, grace, openness, solemnity, directness, subtlety, or whatever, remember to appreciate the whole man, including flaws, as the unique combination that he is.

We wish you every joy as you learn about one another and share experiences together. You may want to slow down a tad from the every day schedule, as it may create an expectation in one or both of you to grow to see the other as your entertainment or even engender a codependency.

Love is a wonderful thing, so cultivate it intentionally. It isn't always to be trusted in the driver's seat, as it may not hesitate to floor it when you would be better off going at a speed that allows you to enjoy the scenery.

[Darius]

If someone touches my dick in anyway, I am going to cum. Even when I touch myself it's easy to cum.
But I would say a blowjob by itself without using hands is probably my least favorite way. I like more contact and more pressure during it, if that makes sense. If you make it all about the orgasm you are going to miss out of a lot of pleasure, I think. And if you have to finish up using your hand, big deal.
Just explain to him what you like and don't like and hopefully he is understanding. If not, who needs him?

[SHOman93]

MikeW, The reason it is hard for me to let go of the fact that I didn't perform as I thought I should is the fact that I wanted to show him that I could please him. That's all I wanted to do. I just hate being the one that has to have "help" from the other person and the one that the other person has to slow down for, you know what I mean? And PLEASE don't think I thought you sounded agitated. Your just being honest, aren't you? Lol. And there's nothing more I want than a relationship that develops naturally. Like the stages of an emerging butterfly, It should begin with simple things and develop into true love. Thanks again for the advice ;D

Pcola, that actually sounds fucking amazing. It just sounds so much fun. I mean, without light you have to be able to sense the other person's movements and adjust accordingly. Definitely a wish of mine. Thanks!

ck86, Exactly. Now that I've experienced it, I don't think anything can really recreate the sensation and tactile feeling of having sex. Hopefully, the next couple "readjustments" are from the guy im talking about Thanks

Hardheaded, that was beautiful I love being able to just sit down and just pick someones mind. What do they love? Hate? Do they like Kesha? Shit like that. I absolutely love this guy for his personality. He's caring, but not overly protective. He'll be honest if I ask him a question. I telling you, at first I liked the way he looked. Now I love the way he thinks. As for the best sex man or nothing, that's nothing anyone should have to put up with. There ARE many more parts to a relationship then just sex, you're right. Thanks again for the advice

Darius, get out of my mind! lol. I absolutely love the feeling of just being next to a guy. The warmth, the smell, the way his face hair catches my finger as I run it across his face. Im just a tactile person. I could cuddle for hours. And you're right, I know what I like the best right? Big deal if I have to finish it up, its not supposed to be taken as an insult to the other person. He did ask me what I liked and what I didn't. I was just like, idk. I know what I like to do to myself, but I don't know what I like when someone else does it. Does that make sense? lol. Thanks for the pointers.

And for everybody, you get a free hug!

[MikeW]

He did ask me what I liked and what I didn't. I was just like, idk. I know what I like to do to myself, but I don't know what I like when someone else does it. Does that make sense?

Totally. That's the point… You can't know without having experience. And even then, what is "working" for you at any given moment may vary.

Maybe we need to have a "Gay Sex 101" class here or something.

[ChadCoxRox]

I can't help but add the important factor of communication. Learning how to be comfortable being candid and open is skill that if practiced becomes the strongest tool for maintaining relationships through all sorts of situations both good and bad. This sounds like a perfectly safe relationship to consider practicing that skill as much or even more than "relaxing and going with the flow." So consider the power of knowing how to BE comfortable and share comfort even when biometrics won't cooperate! It's quite powerful and later leads to MUCH more fulfilling sex!

[meridannight]

He did ask me what I liked and what I didn't. I was just like, idk. I know what I like to do to myself, but I don't know what I like when someone else does it. Does that make sense?

telling him what you like to do to yourself will help him. it's useful information. and when you masturbate you must have fantasies about guys. you can tell him what turns you on.

you like his smell, and touch, try to involve more of that in the sexual act next time. have more body areas covered, maybe try frottage. it doesn't always have to be about blowjobs. many times a blowjob is foreplay for penetrative sex. and there are guys who are not into blowjobs at all. maybe you're one of them (although i encourage you to experiment with it).