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What do I do now!!!?
#1
Hello all,

So I met a guy on Grindr and we got together and had fun which involved great sex. We met three times after and had more sex after which he told me he couldn't get enough of. We talked by phone and he suddenly said he didn't wasn't really wanting much sex at the moment!! No sex since which is two months except for some phone pics! Then two weeks ago out of the nowhere he asked to go on a bus tour and hang out. We had a good time and when we got back it was just awkward standing around and we spoke for moments and he left. I felt really down and needing him because I was looking forward to spending the time with him.. We've talked since again and I don't know!! Now I don't know whether I failed in making the moves or am I pretending my time in following him!? We've spoken since but I can't know why he didn't push for something and why he would one day love the sex and suddenly go off it? Also after sex 4 times is it prettty comfortable for me to make a move whenever we meet or is that acceptable. Thank you for any help. My head is so confused?
#2
Sometimes a hook up is just that. Grindr is a known hook up app and if that's why you guys set out to do, then fine. However, this guy may want more than just sex. He's told you the sex is great, but maybe he's wishing he'd gotten to know you a little better. Ya know? Hang, without always having sex. Sex is not always the way to end a good date.

Or maybe he just wants to be friends and that's it! He's had the sex... it was great, but he'd just rather hang with you as a friend without benefits.

Either way, if sex is all you want, you don't have to wait for him to figure things out. You can easily bring it up in conversation. Explain your wants and go from there.
#3
I'm a little abrupt with people more often than not, so.... I'd ask him. Something a long the lines of "Hey, did I do something wrong? You don't seem to have an interest in fucking anymore."

I'm that way, though. I have a habit of startling honest reactions and answers out of people, especially when something's nagging at my mind. Still.... regardless of how you approach it? I still think you should ask him.
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#4
Thank you. I think I will ask him out again and see what happens. Maybe ask him whats up?
#5
Good luck.
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#6
Hi Guys. So I could really do with some more advice!! So i spoke with him and we talked and I asked him why we hadn't done anything recently? He said he hadn't done anything with anyone since and that he wasn't feeling sex at the moment. I said thats cool but where are we in terms of getting to know each other better and that for me it didnt have to be just about sex and he said he wants to hang out and maybe have sex sometimes along the way but that feelings ruin that kind of thing!!!! I don't even know what that means. But long story short, he keeps in touch constantly but never asks me to hang out. But he's very careful to always snap or chat on a daily basis! But yet he has time to take hang out with other friends.. My point is I think I'm too much into him to be friends and I'm planning on cutting him off for a while to clear my head? What do u guys think? Does this make me childish or is it best or what is his game? Any advice is appreciated!!
#7
Hello [MENTION=20758]MacGuy[/MENTION], I think what you are forgetting to acknowledge here is the fact that many men just need SPACE. So I'm getting the impression that he needs space, space to be with his other friends, space to do sex or not do sex with you or with someone else. Maybe he doesn't feel that you are sufficiently involved in each other's lives yet to warrant giving you reports on his every move. Yes, it sounds like he wants to be friends with you. He enjoys your company, but he might also just need that famous SPACE for himself. It may sound selfish but maybe that's what you should be discussing, more than the fact that he is no longer attracted to you sexually (which may also be the case). Needy or clingy is not always a great thing to have to deal with.
As an example, my boyfriend is currently being pursued by another man who says he'd like to have sex with him, but my boyfriend doesn't want any of that. So he's trying really hard to remain polite while the messages he gets almost daily are becoming more and more annoying. It's tough to find the right words to calm people down when they seem too lonely to let go. If you feel you are in a state of being too clingy, maybe you do need to let go?
Oh, but, if you think it's time to move on, it would also be good to tell him so, so that you don't disappoint his expectations or make him feel as if you're cheating on him. You guys don't have what is called a 'relationship', it seems, so he should not have anything to say about your moving on. But you never know.
Good luck figuring it out.
#8
princealbertofb Wrote:Hello [MENTION=20758]MacGuy[/MENTION], I think what you are forgetting to acknowledge here is the fact that many men just need SPACE. So I'm getting the impression that he needs space, space to be with his other friends, space to do sex or not do sex with you or with someone else. Maybe he doesn't feel that you are sufficiently involved in each other's lives yet to warrant giving you reports on his every move. Yes, it sounds like he wants to be friends with you. He enjoys your company, but he might also just need that famous SPACE for himself. It may sound selfish but maybe that's what you should be discussing, more than the fact that he is no longer attracted to you sexually (which may also be the case). Needy or clingy is not always a great thing to have to deal with.
As an example, my boyfriend is currently being pursued by another man who says he'd like to have sex with him, but my boyfriend doesn't want any of that. So he's trying really hard to remain polite while the messages he gets almost daily are becoming more and more annoying. It's tough to find the right words to calm people down when they seem too lonely to let go. If you feel you are in a state of being too clingy, maybe you do need to let go? Good luck figuring it out.

Hi and thanks for your reply. Firstly sorry to hear about your BF's situation!! And when i reflect I probably haven't been clingy with the guy but definitely a little too quick to respond and initiate conversation. So yes I think you are spot on, space would be good for him and let him figure out what he wants and he knows where I am if that may be me!!! Also I need to take a step back and let things flow. Because being too pushy and available is never a good way to start outSadSad Thanks again....
#9
I added a little something to my previous post. I don't know if it's worth reading.... but good luck anyway.
#10
princealbertofb Wrote:I added a little something to my previous post. I don't know if it's worth reading.... but good luck anyway.

Thanks I just saw that and it was worth reading! I had planned to let him know my plans to cool off our contact simply because if he texts me every other day its only fair to him that i tell him why I'm not around for a while.


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