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Where am i headed?
#1
I'm depressed. I have a bf and at the end of the month we suposse to have our 2 yrs toghetter aniverssary if we make it until then, we allmost
Breake up last week because i just didnt take it anymore and screamed at him, he allways wants to have the last word he allways does some things that he know i dont like, he told me even that i will end up alone, he says he's only joking, what hind of a joke is that? He also said that no one will love me and so on, just for fun, for his fun And my dyspare. We also have trust problems, he is bi, and after we spent valentines day in budapest taking him to some nice places renting a car and a hotel room and having a great time, i had to go from home for 4 days, and i had a feeling and installed some spy software on the pc, when i arrived home he waited me with dinner and a wellcome home written on the wall, the next day i looked in the pc and saw that he flirted with some girl a colegue of him wich i suspected that he may like her even though he denied that, he flirted and just for fun they sugessted that it would be something if they would have sex, THIS HAPPENED AFTER WE SPENT VALENTINES DAY AT BUDAEST, i conffronted him and he addmited that he talked but said it was just for fun nothing more. From then they and another girl are bfffffff and when i'm gonne they are having partys, she loves him i know that for sure, but he is saying that they are just bfffff and despite the fact that tey have many things in common he wants to be with me not with her. So i have to leave tommorow for 5 days and he made plans to jave a party at our house ahain with his bffff and the other girl, and i said no, so he got reall pissed off and said they will go to a gay club instead. I love him or at least i did, i have made many compromises for him and sacrifices, but i dont know what im feeling anymore, im allways sad, i want to be with him but i dont want, not like that, that girl and theyr bffff relationship is obssesing me to the point that i dont know if i have any feelings for him left, the past 2 weeks We had only arguments and i am so depressed I dont know what to do i have no ideea what im feeling anymore, and i have no clue where am i heading, i cryed these past day enough for a lifetime, now im just numb.
Ps. Sorry for my english and the long post.


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#2
Hi Crisit, don't know you that well but hope you're feeling better.

To me it sounds like you really have strong feelings for this guy, and he's possibly taking advantage a little. I've never bought into the old excuse that it was "just sex" as the act itself denotes an attraction to another person, possibly in a way where you cannot satisfy them - this is heartbreaking for yourself or any individual, a massive feeling of insecurity.

He seems to be playing a lot of games with you, and maybe you're happy to play? you should be able to trust your partner enough to not have to bug his PC... He wants to love you and have his flings, he's a young guy, it just all depends whether you are willing to live with that. It sounds like you would much rather be with him alone than have to share him. It's times like these you've been screwed around, and you need to look at what's best for yourself, and if he deserves the effort you put in to make it work. Sometimes things do come to an end, but a year down the line you'll feel better and stronger for it, with somebody worthy of you.
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#3
can it be that you are jealous ?
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#4
Sil Wrote:Hi Crisit, don't know you that well but hope you're feeling better.

To me it sounds like you really have strong feelings for this guy, and he's possibly taking advantage a little. I've never bought into the old excuse that it was "just sex" as the act itself denotes an attraction to another person, possibly in a way where you cannot satisfy them - this is heartbreaking for yourself or any individual, a massive feeling of insecurity.

He seems to be playing a lot of games with you, and maybe you're happy to play? you should be able to trust your partner enough to not have to bug his PC... He wants to love you and have his flings, he's a young guy, it just all depends whether you are willing to live with that. It sounds like you would much rather be with him alone than have to share him. It's times like these you've been screwed around, and you need to look at what's best for yourself, and if he deserves the effort you put in to make it work. Sometimes things do come to an end, but a year down the line you'll feel better and stronger for it, with somebody worthy of you.

They didn't have sex, just proposed that, just for fun he said, if they had sex trust me it would have been over in a bit, he knows that i have/had a weeknes for him and he is practically blackmailling me emotional, well at least until now, now i'm in a state of mind that i just dont care anymore, as i said im numb, i'm ok but i dont know where i'm headed, he said that after i will come back thing will
Change, and he will not make anything that i will not like, but i know this good behavior of him will not last, he said that before, and even if it will i don't know if i could change back in liking and having feelings, maybe i will but that would mean for him to be ok more then 3 days like he did before. I just dont know....


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#5
fenris Wrote:can it be that you are jealous ?

Would u be if ur bf is now bfff with the girl( in case he is bi) or guy( if he is gay) that he flirted and proposed to have sex just before valentines day??? Oh and having partyes with him/her when u are gone?


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#6
If you are able to spy on him and his use of the computer trust has already disappeared. It sounds over to me :frown:
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#7
Crisit21 Wrote:Would u be if ur bf is now bfff with the girl( in case he is bi) or guy( if he is gay) that he flirted and proposed to have sex just before valentines day??? Oh and having partyes with him/her when u are gone?


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was a question ..and seems like a "yes" .... I don´t know if i would be jealous ... because I´m not ... and thats a problem for my partner *g ...
I would ask both ... directly... tell them that you don´t know what is it between them. That you can´t handle this without to know whats with them. That they hurt you with their behavior.
It can be that your fears are right .... and that you have to decide if you want this further or if you want to end this and split with him.
Unfortunately in the most cases I know a bisexual man decides for the much easier way ... and elect the straight relationship....
And if he maybe did this ... you are free to watch out for a new partner... a partner who is it worth to be your partner. i have read something you have written here ... and it seems that you are a nice guy... and many other guys in your area can be happy to have you as partner.
See it as a new chance to be happy ... you know whats important for you...

But it can be that you are wrong .... and only your feelings are wrong....
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#8
I know it hurts and is this may be hard to hear but if he is truly bisexual this will happen sooner or later. If you are tracking him on the computer it will continue to tear you apart as it already has. It is wise to accept that you cannot change him and perhaps think about whether you are willing to live in a relationship with a bisexual man or if this is unacceptable for you.
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#9
fenris Wrote:was a question ..and seems like a "yes" .... I don´t know if i would be jealous ... because I´m not ... and thats a problem for my partner *g ...
I would ask both ... directly... tell them that you don´t know what is it between them. That you can´t handle this without to know whats with them. That they hurt you with their behavior.
It can be that your fears are right .... and that you have to decide if you want this further or if you want to end this and split with him.
Unfortunately in the most cases I know a bisexual man decides for the much easier way ... and elect the straight relationship....
And if he maybe did this ... you are free to watch out for a new partner... a partner who is it worth to be your partner. i have read something you have written here ... and it seems that you are a nice guy... and many other guys in your area can be happy to have you as partner.
See it as a new chance to be happy ... you know whats important for you...

But it can be that you are wrong .... and only your feelings are wrong....

Thx Fenris that means alot coming from u, i also read some things that u have writtend and i made an opinion about u, u are a good advisor... U may be right, u are so lucky that u cant be jelous, i envy u


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#10
Crisit21 Wrote:Thx Fenris that means alot coming from u, i also read some things that u have writtend and i made an opinion about u, u are a good advisor... U may be right, u are so lucky that u cant be jelous, i envy u


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Its a bit learning.... as I was 17 - 18 I was really jealous .... with the full program...screaming, throw things around.... with so much temper I got nosebleeds only from rage ... but then I ´ve seen that this makes more harm as it is needful.
Now I mean that I´m not the worst partner who is possible... I have some good sides ..some bad sides ... and if that is not enough for my partner to stay ... he can go. He will find another partner ... and I can, too. Thinking on this way helps a lot... try it...

And with a bisexual partner ... if you want that he stays ... I think you must let him go on a long leash... and he comes back. You can´t be a women for him ... so don´t try it.
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