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Who says the Brits aren't tough?
#1
The British Commandos are a very tough bunch. They endure extremely rigourous training. And so our story begins. The fog shrouded cliffs of Dover are barely visible in the background. A detachment of commandos assembles on the beach at Dover, in the cold misty fog that encompasses the area.

It was 5:00 in the morning at Dover Beach, well below freezing, and the soldiers were assembled at rigid attention. The sergeant major walks to the front of the assembled company and bellows, “Awright now, lads! I want you all to strip naked right now, then snap back to attention. The commandos removed their uniforms and fell back into formation at attention.

Now, I want you, on my order, to drop, crawl out on the beach, hit the surf, swim 100 yards out, turn about, swim back the 100 yards to the beach, crawl back to this location, and snap to attention.

“Well, get on with it.”, the sergeant major yells.

The men immediately drop and begin to crawl towards the surf. Now Dover isn’t like sandy beaches, it’s small sharp stones the whole way. The men make it to the water, which isn’t frozen solid because it’s moving, otherwise it’d be a block of ice.

The men swim out the 100 yards, reverse direction and swim back the 100 yards, crawl back to the sergeant major’s position and snap to attention.

The sergeant major yells, "Close up the ranks, conserve your body heat!" So they close in slightly...

The captain comes along with his swagger stick.

He goes to the first soldier and whacks him right across the chest with it. "DID THAT HURT?" he yells.
"No, Sir!" came the reply.
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a British Commando, Sir!"

The captain is impressed, and walks on to the next man.
He takes the stick and whacks the soldier right across the rear.
"Did THAT hurt?"
"No, Sir!"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a British Commando, Sir!"

Still extremely impressed, the captain walks to the third guy, and sees he is in a state of sexual arousal. Naturally, he gave his target a huge WHACK with the swagger stick.

"Did THAT hurt?"

Without so much as a slight tremble, the commando replies, "No, Sir!"

"Why not?"

"Because it belongs to the bloke behind me, Sir!"
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
#2
Before I met my man I always secretly wanted to date a nice British older man with light blond hair that was cut in a crew cut style/fashion. He'd be slightly bulky/muscled/stocky and love to cuddle. British or Irish, I love them both. The accents are so dreamy...

Sorry, what were we talking about again? I got to day dreaming...
#3
Cobalt Wrote:Before I met my man I always secretly wanted to date a nice British older man with light blond hair that was cut in a crew cut style/fashion. He'd be slightly bulky/muscled/stocky and love to cuddle. British or Irish, I love them both. The accents are so dreamy...

Sorry, what were we talking about again? I got to day dreaming...

Yep, you certainly went off topic there.
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams


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