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Why be unkind?
#51
Another lot of questions now pops into my mind. Why use a disability as an excuse to hide behind? Why not use a disability to motivate yourself to exact change, to strive for something better, to succeed over your disablility? Why don't you control your disability rather than have the disability control you? Why should others adapt to your disability and you not master your disability to adapt to those around you? Why rely and expect others to give you a pension, cheap housing, cheap drugs when from what I can gather, your arms and legs are working perfectly?

Are disablities not a challenge that a lot of us have to over come rather then cry poor mouth and expect everything to just happen for you?
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#52
nullnaught Wrote:Thank you again for your sage words. I will take them to heart.
Don't tell me Pioneer High School, or I will swoon dead away!

Not Pioneer...but kinda close. I went to Oak Grove HS. I think both Oak Grove and Pioneer are on the same street though....isnt Pioneer on Blossom Hill Rd as well?

(BTW...I can't respond to any messages so don't think I am ignoring you...I think I need 50 posts or something like that and it will take me awhile...I did send an email to your link you gave me though but not sure if it originated from here if it would arrive?)
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#53
East Wrote:Not Pioneer...but kinda close. I went to Oak Grove HS. I think both Oak Grove and Pioneer are on the same street though....isnt Pioneer on Blossom Hill Rd as well?

(BTW...I can't respond to any messages so don't think I am ignoring you...I think I need 50 posts or something like that and it will take me awhile...I did send an email to your link you gave me though but not sure if it originated from here if it would arrive?)

Yeah! they are both on Blossom Hill, and I am in walking distance of Blossom hill and Camden as we speak. I'll look for your email, thanks.
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#54
dfiant Wrote:Another lot of questions now pops into my mind. Why use a disability as an excuse to hide behind? Why not use a disability to motivate yourself to exact change, to strive for something better, to succeed over your disablility? Why don't you control your disability rather than have the disability control you? Why should others adapt to your disability and you not master your disability to adapt to those around you? Why rely and expect others to give you a pension, cheap housing, cheap drugs when from what I can gather, your arms and legs are working perfectly?

Are disablities not a challenge that a lot of us have to over come rather then cry poor mouth and expect everything to just happen for you?

Well if you read my responses you would see I am doing something about it. I have been in therapy for most of the last 20 years. Do crippled people deserve more respect for what they can't get over than I do because you can see thier disability? This is a distressingly common position for the ignorant to hold. I hope you are not one of them. I am further trying to overcome my challenge by fighting for my rights here and now. You think talking to people with attitudes like yours is fun or easy for me? you leave me nauseated. I have to steel myself to read things people like you post.
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#55
nullnaught Wrote:Well if you read my responses you would see I am doing something about it. I have been in therapy for most of the last 20 years. Do crippled people deserve more respect for what they can't get over than I do because you can see thier disability? This is a distressingly common position for the ignorant to hold. I hope you are not one of them. I am further trying to overcome my challenge by fighting for my rights here and now. You think talking to people with attitudes like yours is fun or easy for me? you leave me nauseated. I have to steel myself to read things people like you post.

You're taking me the wrong way. I see all people with disablities in the same light, not a sympathetic light, I have a disability myself that is invisible until you talk to me and the last thing I want is sympathy because it does't stop my life, it doesn't stop me from living...it drives me to be twice the person that people expect me to be because I have a disability.

BUT I admire people who shut the fuck up and get on with life as if their disability doesn't exist, because they are the ones living their lives without asking anything from anyone, they are determined, they are positive, they will be a CEO or Prime Minister/President.

If you have been getting therapy for 20 years for this one issue, I would suggest that you consider other options, perhaps a more prefessional therapist that deals specifically with the pyschological illness you are suffering.

Maybe it isn't uncommon to have had 20 years of therapy for an issue, i don't know, but I haven't heard of people that have been in therapy for 20 years, thats were my ignorance to your issues starts and ends, and while most are too politically correct to ask those question, I'm not because I want answers.
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#56
Maybe it isn't uncommon to have had 20 years of therapy for an issue, i don't know, but I haven't heard of people that have been in therapy for 20 years, thats were my ignorance to your issues starts and ends, and while most are too politically correct to ask those question, I'm not because I want answers.

I don't know what the cause of nullnaught's PSDT is but I can tell you that I have known quite a few Vietnam Vets who have never gotten past the hell they emerged from despite alot of effort....alot of them have been homeless and incapacitated by PSTD their entire lives. I had one guy who used to come into the bar I bartended and he was so sweet and quiet and gentle initially and I used to watch him freak out when the Doors would come on the jukebox and though I had no way of understanding where he came from I have the empathy to do what I could do to help him out at the moment which was to change the song and eventually I got the guy who was in charge of the jukebox to remove it. I had alot of people complain and tell me it wasn't fair and I would tell them it wasn't fair but my choice was to extend a little bit of compassion to the guy...and then I gave them their quarter back.

...in the end...there but for the grace of God go I is my final thought.
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#57
nullnaught Wrote:I dont think it is O.K. to use as a chant. I am not asking for anyone to dance to my tune, I am asking them to use polite language around me, so that I can participate.
You all act as if I am alone in this. Just because I am the only one speaking up doesn't mean I am the only one thus affilicted. I am just the only one here asking for accomodation.
If you don't wan't my contributions, say so. Otherwise create an evironment that is welcoming of everyone including myself. Do you really need to self-loathingly slur yourselves like that? Is your self-hatred really so important to you?

There is nothing self-loathing about the word. Why are you so willing to let negative associations dominate the meaning of a symbol. Gay can be used negatively just as easily as queer, because it is now synonymous for stupid/uncool/effeminate amongst much of my age group, should I now abandon the word?

Queer's original meaning is not as a slur for gay people, it means strange or different. It is not even the same as the N word, because we are merely redeploying the original meaning of the word and reclaiming difference from the norm as something that can be celebrated rather than attacked.

Why do you think you have the right to dictate how people self-identify, to accuse them of self-loathing because they choose a word you dislike. What about people who have negative experiences related to the word gay, I know I have never been called queer as a slur, but I have personally encountered gay being used as a slur in and of itself.
When a subject is highly controversial — and any question about sex is that — one cannot hope to tell the truth. One can only show how one came to hold whatever opinion one does hold. One can only give one's audience the chance of drawing their own conclusions as they observe the limitations, the prejudices, the idiosyncrasies of the speaker.
- Virginia Woolf
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#58
OrphanPip Wrote:There is nothing self-loathing about the word. Why are you so willing to let negative associations dominate the meaning of a symbol. Gay can be used negatively just as easily as queer, because it is now synonymous for stupid/uncool/effeminate amongst much of my age group, should I now abandon the word?

Queer's original meaning is not as a slur for gay people, it means strange or different. It is not even the same as the N word, because we are merely redeploying the original meaning of the word and reclaiming difference from the norm as something that can be celebrated rather than attacked.

Why do you think you have the right to dictate how people self-identify, to accuse them of self-loathing because they choose a word you dislike. What about people who have negative experiences related to the word gay, I know I have never been called queer as a slur, but I have personally encountered gay being used as a slur in and of itself.

I am not defending the word gay. I reiterate my point that scholars do not choose in your face language. Scholars use neutral language. There is no excuse to deliberately choose language that excludes part of The Community from equal access. The only ones who can read your works without being offended are people who walk in lock step with you and accept you dictating that they accept a slur as an identification. If people used the slur only privately, it would not matter; but you all have forced it into general use. You are the dictators. You are the ones who should have to explain why you would use such hateful, exclusive language. I shouldn't have to be the one explaining to you that your language divides The Comminity. You should have to explain why you have this need to divide through exclusionary language.
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#59
East Wrote:Maybe it isn't uncommon to have had 20 years of therapy for an issue, i don't know, but I haven't heard of people that have been in therapy for 20 years, thats were my ignorance to your issues starts and ends, and while most are too politically correct to ask those question, I'm not because I want answers.

I don't know what the cause of nullnaught's PSDT is but I can tell you that I have known quite a few Vietnam Vets who have never gotten past the hell they emerged from despite alot of effort....alot of them have been homeless and incapacitated by PSTD their entire lives. I had one guy who used to come into the bar I bartended and he was so sweet and quiet and gentle initially and I used to watch him freak out when the Doors would come on the jukebox and though I had no way of understanding where he came from I have the empathy to do what I could do to help him out at the moment which was to change the song and eventually I got the guy who was in charge of the jukebox to remove it. I had alot of people complain and tell me it wasn't fair and I would tell them it wasn't fair but my choice was to extend a little bit of compassion to the guy...and then I gave them their quarter back.

...in the end...there but for the grace of God go I is my final thought.

Thank you for your understanding and compasion. They are almost unique on this forum.
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#60
nullnaught Wrote:I am not defending the word gay. I reiterate my point that scholars do not choose in your face language. Scholars use neutral language. There is no excuse to deliberately choose language that excludes part of The Community from equal access. The only ones who can read your works without being offended are people who walk in lock step with you and accept you dictating that they accept a slur as an identification. If people used the slur only privately, it would not matter; but you all have forced it into general use. You are the dictators. You are the ones who should have to explain why you would use such hateful, exclusive language. I shouldn't have to be the one explaining to you that your language divides The Comminity. You should have to explain why you have this need to divide through exclusionary language.

If you're not defending the word gay, how do you expect people to write about anything if any word can be construed as offensive? The entire reason of using the word is to avoid exclusionary categories, to speak of a theoretical construction of difference without making direct reference to any identity.
When a subject is highly controversial — and any question about sex is that — one cannot hope to tell the truth. One can only show how one came to hold whatever opinion one does hold. One can only give one's audience the chance of drawing their own conclusions as they observe the limitations, the prejudices, the idiosyncrasies of the speaker.
- Virginia Woolf
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