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Women drivers!
#1
This morning on the Interstate. I looked over to my left and there was a woman In a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds to continue shaving and when I looked back, she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily but she scared me so much I had to put on my seat belt and I dropped my electric shaver which knocked the donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cellphone away from my ear that fell into my coffee which was between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins.

Ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#2
AMEN BROTHER!!!!

Rofl
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