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gut feeling
#1
So me and my bf have been together a year or so now.
Started great...see each other daily and spending lots of time together etc.
Lately we both started working and things were supposed to get better for us financially which they kinda have of course.
BUT, i never seem to see him now. Its not like he doesnt have time to see me, he just chooses not to.
Its been a week since i last saw him and he came last night to stay over at my house. when he walked in i gave him a big hug and said how much i had missed him and we sat and watched tv. He seemed a little off as if he wasnt telling me something. And seemed a little distant from me. After a week i guess i expected to be hugging alot on the couch and chatting about our week etc, However it was more of a silent night and he didnt really seem interested in me. Never said he had missed me or anything Sad (he had been too busy to miss me in his words).
Anyway....we got into bed and about half an hour after he got up and wanted to go home, said he was uncomfortable.
Now...is it just me or is that a little odd? I have a gut feeling he either isnt telling me something (which i asked and he said there's nothing) OR he is getting bored of me or fed up of being with me or something.
What approach should i take? Am i thinking too much or would you guys be a little concerned too?
#2
I have a gut feeling he either isnt telling me something

Me too.
#3
I think it is obvious something is wrong. The evidence is clear.

Unfortunately there is insufficient data to determine a course of action.

Go and talk to him. No, do not phone him or use chat/instant message/text messaging. Go and talk face to face, see if he will discuss what is eating him.
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[SIZE=4]I told you I had the body of a 25 year old....

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#4
My initial thought is that there is a problem, what I couldn't tell you, it could be anything.
#5
Since you've been dating for a year now, you should expect the type of communications to change. The "i miss you's" and such will come and go - depending on your boyfriend's work/school pressures.

That said, when he got out of bed and said he was going home because he was feeling "uncomfortable" is a big red flag for me. Why, after a year of dating, intimacy, and sharing a bed together, would he get up, get dressed and leave?

Something's going on with him. I'm sure you've already thought of the reasons: he's fallen out of love with you, he's found someone else, if he's not out, he's getting worried about being "caught" with you, if he's bisexual, he might be struggling with his identity (ie: i'm ok with being bi, not gay, but he loves you and it's causing him stress) or, the worse one - he's cheated on you with someone - and that includes sex.

So, as other's have said, you need to talk with him face-to-face. And, you need to ask him direct questions, something like this: "<his name>, i need to tell you that the last few times we've been togehter, you've made me feel like something's going on with you. While i know you're dealing with <work/family/school, etc> issues, that's never stopped you from talking with me, and showing me your love...and the last time we were together, you got out of bed and left - and that really, really hurt me - mostly because you couldn't tell me why, other than you felt uncomfortable. So i am going to ask you straight out, and please be honest with me: Have you cheated on me?" If he says yes, then you ahve to decide how you will respond.

If he says NO, go down the list of questions.

My gut is, he'll say yes to one of the questions you ask. If he refuses to talk or answer any questions, then i would say, "I love you but love requires 100% trust and if you can't talk with me or answer simple questions, then perhaps we should spend some time apart to sort things out." Or you can just break it off 100%. But you need closure!
#6
I'm afraid it does sound a little fishy (or very fishy) and the only way to get rid of the smell is to have that honest conversation. I'm hoping, for you, that it's not something to do with you and your relationship, but something that you can sort together and for which he's not felt strong enough to ask for support. But I must say the "discomfort" of being together doesn't bode well, I'm afraid. Maybe it's better not to waste any more time or worry on something that's not meant to be?
#7
You're right to be concerned, never ignore it when you suspect something isn't right in your relationship - the results of doing that usually get really painful, to say the least.

Like others have said, TALK to him, get it out in the open now, don't let it fester and get bigger. Okay so it might be bad, or it might be something you can help him with, might even be the beginning of the end but, it's better to get ti out there where you can talk about it and, work on it than to have it hidden and keep guessing and, feeling something unknown is wrong between you.
#8
hmm... In my honest opinion, after a week of not seeing eachother and hes very distant, sounds to me he has "found" someone else or hes cheated on you but like others have said, talk to him. Who knows, work might be stressing him out and it may not have anything to do with you but I think he cheated on you honestly.
#9
I agree with you , something is not right.
Maybe he came over to end it , and your hug took away the moment.

You deserve better , talk to him .
Keeping you hanging is very cruel.

Bighug


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