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need a cyber hug - please
#11
Hiya Love,
May i first give you a massive hug *hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* and notify you that telling your daughter her mums a lesbian wont matter or affect her.. My partner recently told his son that his dad is gay and that the guy who he always sees dad with is not his friend its his boyfriend.. Now with her being a youngster still im pretty sure she will adapt and things becoming easier..
As a bit of help and gudiance ill do it the way we did it..

Sit her down and go love i want to tell you something and hope your understand and support your mam. I want to tell you that your mum is a lesbian and is pleased that despite all we gone through ive got a beautiful daughter out of my marriage i had with your father..

Now she may ask questions so answer them honest.. In my partners case his 11 year old boy said.. "Dad are you sure your not bi-sexual as you and mum had me?" Then he was informed that in life people tend to hide their feelings through things such as peer pressure and family issues and cannot admit to themselves who they really are.. Its like a little version of me inside that ive kept in a cage wanting to break free but never been ready and nows the time that i need to tell you because it isnt fair to keep it any longer from you and also it isnt fair for me to try to lead a life that my genetic build doesnt make me feel comfortable with..
I am still the same person that gave birth to you raised you and looked after and loved you.. The only thing thats different in this case is the fact that five minutes ago you didnt expect me to be honest with you and now being honest you know that im a lesbian, but im still me.. I am not anything else im still gonna be your fun loving mother that ive always been and ill still have a laugh and things will continue the way things go..

When my boyfriend told his son this his son said... Oh ok dad thats cool with me.. I still love you because your my father..

Children tend to understand easier at a younger age and adapt with it into adulthood than lead it later on in life.. You never know she may tell her friends but thats entirely her choice babes.. My so called "step son" told his friends and they support him on this. Once its out in the open and its sorted at the age she is now you will find it more comfortable to bring a partner home when the time is right and introduce her to your girl as your partner..

It is not uncommon for people to have gay parents as ive got alot of friends who are hetrosexual and have got gay parents and every one of them have told me its wierd at first but seeing their mum/dad happy makes them happy..

Best of luck babes

Kindest regards and another massive hug from meeh

Zeon x
#12
thank you all so much for your support. I am actually sitting here now with tears rolling down my face - it's not easy to see the keys! lol. As my daughter is autistic (Asperger's Syndrome) I cannot tell her yet. Everything has to be black and white with her. If I suddenly 'change colour' it could throw her whole life out of kilter. I do actively encourage her to be tolerant of differences, especially as I am disabled too and she certainly seems to be tolerant of most things. I think I may have to introduce the subject a bit at a time and let it settle in her mind. Thank you all again for such a warm and overwhelmingly friendly response. It did actually reduce me to tears - a mixture of relief, happiness, and goodness knows what other emotions. Love you all.
#13
We are, and WILL REMAIN, here for you my dear.

You're not alone in this Confusedmile:.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

P.s. Bighug as I missed out previously !!!
#14
Just Me Wrote:thank you all so much for your support. I am actually sitting here now with tears rolling down my face - it's not easy to see the keys! lol. As my daughter is autistic (Asperger's Syndrome) I cannot tell her yet. Everything has to be black and white with her. If I suddenly 'change colour' it could throw her whole life out of kilter. I do actively encourage her to be tolerant of differences, especially as I am disabled too and she certainly seems to be tolerant of most things. I think I may have to introduce the subject a bit at a time and let it settle in her mind. Thank you all again for such a warm and overwhelmingly friendly response. It did actually reduce me to tears - a mixture of relief, happiness, and goodness knows what other emotions. Love you all.
Thanks, Just Me. Now things make more sense and I understand why you are being so careful. You sound like a great mum and your time is going to come. I wish you every happiness.

Occasionally I get to work with young adults from a local Asperger's group. We have a lot of fun ... for a samba drumming session I certainly always find out a lot more about Dr Who than I ever thought I needed to know Rolleyes although I realise that there is a much wider spectrum of responses among people living with AS.

Best of luck to your daughter in these tough exam years.
#15
geeeee here's a hug


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