I use 2 dating websites(OKcupid/Plenty Of Fish) and so far every bloody time after a conversation starts between me and someone else they eventually ignore me, after 10 messages at most usually and is is just infuriating and have no idea what I'm doing wrong, is there maybe something wrong with my profile/pictures?( http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=81916124) am I just bad at talking to people, my last message was simply a response to 1 of his questions so I don't see why he would start ignoring me.
just what am I doing wrong? because this is infuriating and just want to give up all together...
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Hi!
The last thing you want to do is give up... I have and I regret it. I think your profile is perfectly fine however! Is there anything to add extra info about you? Like "About" or "Hobbies", etc?
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I'm guessing if you're having conversations, then nothing is wrong with your profile. Is there a particular point in the conversation where things seem to drift off? What are you talking about?
Lex
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I've had the same experience on several sites and apps. Often just answering a question, like you said. No idea why. One guy has my email address; he emailed me a lot at first, then less often, and now I haven't had anything from him in a while. He's a soldier on active duty though, so maybe he's busy out on patrols.
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First off, I don't date, at least not in this millennium, and haven't used these apps, sites, etc. for that purpose. However the I think the general rule is that people want "something" to happen within a very short period of time. That "something" could be meeting and or hooking up and or camming. As soon as someone finds someone else "more interesting" or "more attractive" or "closer to home" or "more willing to put out" or etc., (whatever their criteria may be), they move on. It doesn't have much if anything to do with *YOU* per cet.
BTW, I know a guy in the Netherlands. Not *exactly* sure of his age but he's in his 20s.. Maybe 24? Not sure. Nice guy. Plays (American) football, and works out a lot.  Don't know if he's dating anyone but I doubt it. He's very kind of shy about the whole "gay" thing.
Interested?
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Barefoot Wrote:I've had the same experience on several sites and apps. Often just answering a question, like you said. No idea why. One guy has my email address; he emailed me a lot at first, then less often, and now I haven't had anything from him in a while. He's a soldier on active duty though, so maybe he's busy out on patrols. Be very careful with these "military" guys⦠quite often they are "catfish" (i.e., fake) profiles. Not saying yours is, but be very careful. Whatever you do, don't give them money or make any promises until you're 100% sure they're for real and on the up-and-up.
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Yeah, I think he might be one too. I'm always suspicious of that. There have been others that I was either suspicious of or even quite sure were Catfishing. I'd never send money; I discovered someones money scamming attempt on me a few years ago and have been alert to that ever since. And coming to think of it, I think this subject answers another question that's been in the back of my mind.... Why I get so many replies from hundreds and often thousands of miles away. Hmmm.
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HuggieBear Wrote:Hi!
The last thing you want to do is give up... I have and I regret it. I think your profile is perfectly fine however! Is there anything to add extra info about you? Like "About" or "Hobbies", etc?
can't honestly think of anything, allot that there is to know about me is on my profile,
Lexington Wrote:I'm guessing if you're having conversations, then nothing is wrong with your profile. Is there a particular point in the conversation where things seem to drift off? What are you talking about?
Lex
well the conversations don't happen all that often, 2 times a month I guess.
the last conversation I gotten ignored when the next day I said good morning and asked him how he was, with another guy he ignored me when I asked if he had any plans for the day, conversation to me seems like they just go on, replies consistently and then it just stops all of a sudden.
Barefoot Wrote:I've had the same experience on several sites and apps. Often just answering a question, like you said. No idea why. One guy has my email address; he emailed me a lot at first, then less often, and now I haven't had anything from him in a while. He's a soldier on active duty though, so maybe he's busy out on patrols.
hope so for you, really annoying to just get ignored out of nowhere!
MikeW Wrote:First off, I don't date, at least not in this millennium, and haven't used these apps, sites, etc. for that purpose. However the I think the general rule is that people want "something" to happen within a very short period of time. That "something" could be meeting and or hooking up and or camming. As soon as someone finds someone else "more interesting" or "more attractive" or "closer to home" or "more willing to put out" or etc., (whatever their criteria may be), they move on. It doesn't have much if anything to do with *YOU* per cet.
BTW, I know a guy in the Netherlands. Not *exactly* sure of his age but he's in his 20s.. Maybe 24? Not sure. Nice guy. Plays (American) football, and works out a lot. Don't know if he's dating anyone but I doubt it. He's very kind of shy about the whole "gay" thing.
Interested? if that's the case at the very least it'd be nice to know instead of him just ignoring me.
not interested, thank you for the offer though, probably wouldn't be good enough for him and doubt we'd have much in common(judging from the activities you've mentioned thus far)
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To be honest, I should have suspected from the beginning, since he is a foreigner, and says he's interested in moving to my country. But, you never know, he could be telling the truth. If his purpose is/was to get his jollies by leading me on and then disappointing me, as someone has said they sometimes do, he failed because I really do not care much and never really did. I'd have to know him a lot better than just a few chat/email exchanges to have more than passing interest in him. I do think that some of them get mildly interested and then find someone else they're more interested in, and they move along. I've never had much faith in online dating anyway, although I know it has worked for some. I only do it for now until winter is over and I can get out to meet guys in person.
Born This Way - And Proud To Be
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Well OP...it could be that they have just moved on to someone else...or that they were looking for someone at a deeper level than 'watcha doin'?' or 'how's it goin'?'
The fact is....in order to engage people you need to be a good listener and to share on a deeper level.
I suspect that you are looking for more out of technology and interwebz interactions than most people are capable of giving. For instance, as soon as I start an exchange with someone on-line, if they have sloppy spelling and grammar, or, heaven forbid, if they start communicating in txtspk...I am out of there.
Likewise, if they seem to only focus on dull things....or seem emotionally immature, my mind clicks off.
I would encourage you to make more attempts at meeting people in the real world in order to interact with them and overcome your shyness as much as possible. It will also help you, as an autistic young adult, to hone your skills in social interaction.
Beste!
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