The only thing I can figure, [MENTION=1766]princealbertofb[/MENTION], is you're trying to ascertain whether or not you ARE one. I know I am by many people's hypocritical standards, not so much my own, and I accept that. I also know it isn't necessary to be "old" to be a "perv". I can name several guys in their early 20s, right here in my own neighborhood, who are FAR more "pervy" than I am. So much so, in fact, they find my relatively "vanilla" sexual tastes quite boring.

kindy64 Wrote:Is James Bulger the example you want to hang a definition on? When "abducted, tortured, murdered" is in the list of crimes, does it matter how old his victims were, 10 years old, or 60 years old? The whole act of murdering someone is unacceptable in civil society.

The perpetrators were ten years old and I was using this as an example that perversion has no age limit.

LONDONER Wrote:The perpetrators were ten years old and I was using this as an example that perversion has no age limit.

Sorry, missed that bit...

Not trying to revive old threads but this is a relevant conversation and is a problem in the LGBTQ community. That is ageism.

Anyone can be a pervert and I'd say that a lot of people are perverts to one degree or another and when people get old they're still perverts. However, what are we talking about here really?

I see is quite frequently on apps like grindr where some 20 something has on their profile...no one over 25! (and perhaps no fems) or might say something like no old people. What is an old person? Am I an old person? I'm 33 right now. I probably am old to some 19 year old but I don't think of myself as being old. I also don't think that someone who might be in their 50's would consider themselves old.

I think it is shallow for the guy who is 25 putting that they don't want to date someone over 30...I mean really? I mean if they think guys are over the hill before 30 they're completely wrong. I've seen guys "let themselves go" at 25 and I've seen guys in their 40's that look pretty good too. That being said, there are plenty of younger guys who like to hook up with older guys and there's nothing wrong with it so long as they're both consenting adults.

Why is it a problem when the older guy hits up some 20 or 30 year old guy but not when the 20 or 30 year old guy hits up the older guy? Personally, not my cup of tea, but there's nothing wrong with it but somehow it's creepy when an older guy hits up a younger guy but not when the shoe is on the other foot. It's a shitty double standard.

Now I'm going to get on my soapbox. These people who are in their 50's and 60's, might not be your thing and that's fine, but be respectful. These are folks who fought for your rights so you can hold your partners hand in public and get married.

To the guys who have this crazy 5 year rule, quit being ridiculous. Like what you like, that's fine, but 5 years is nothing and it is just stupid.

(05-22-2020, 01:38 AM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: I think it is shallow for the guy who is 25 putting that they don't want to date someone over 30...I mean really? I mean if they think guys are over the hill before 30 they're completely wrong. I've seen guys "let themselves go" at 25 and I've seen guys in their 40's that look pretty good too.

They're fully entitled to chose whom they date and expressing a preference reduces disappointment and saves everybody's time. Unless you know them you can't know what they think and shouldn't presume to tell them what they should think.

(05-22-2020, 01:38 AM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: That being said, there are plenty of younger guys who like to hook up with older guys and there's nothing wrong with it so long as they're both consenting adults.

So it's not a problem after all?

(05-22-2020, 01:38 AM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: Why is it a problem when the older guy hits up some 20 or 30 year old guy but not when the 20 or 30 year old guy hits up the older guy? Personally, not my cup of tea

So it's all right if you express an age preference but if anyone else does it it's shallow.

(05-22-2020, 01:38 AM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: To the guys who have this crazy 5 year rule, quit being ridiculous. Like what you like, that's fine, but 5 years is nothing and it is just stupid.

Is there some aspect of "like what you like" you don't understand?

When guys are younger they are generally more fussy with a fixed criteria on looks, age, body image etc. In the gay world it's even more compounded. As they get older and wiser (usually after 30) their aspirations and expectations change from when they were in their teens or early 20s.

Saying that look at these two with a 19 year age gap...  (Dustin Lance Black, 45 and Tom Daley, 26)

(Tom is a UK diver who got fame after winning medals at the Commonwealth Games / Olympics and Dustin a film director/producer who helped with gay film 'Milk')

Interesting fact - the exact name for a younger person that only fancies older is Gerontophilia!  We watched the first few minutes of a gay film with the same name that took it to the extreme... https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1815717/

@andy That is true. I do think that all the labels that we now have really help matters, especially for younger guys who are trying to figure things out. If there's anything we need more of is kindness. I think there are ways to make your preferences known without coming off as an asshole or being shallow, I guess I didn't make that point clear enough.

I think it is great, regardless of age, race or social status when two people can make it work.

(05-22-2020, 11:39 AM)andy Wrote: When guys are younger they are generally more fussy with a fixed criteria on looks, age, body image etc. In the gay world it's even more compounded. As they get older and wiser (usually after 30) their aspirations and expectations change from when they were in their teens or early 20s.

Saying that look at these two with a 19 year age gap...  (Dustin Lance Black, 45 and Tom Daley, 26)

(Tom is a UK diver who got fame after winning medals at the Commonwealth Games / Olympics and Dustin a film director/producer who helped with gay film 'Milk')

Interesting fact - the exact name for a younger person that only fancies older is Gerontophilia!  We watched the first few minutes of a gay film with the same name that took it to the extreme... https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1815717/

Gerontophilia? I've always called it Geezer Pleasing. Dustin Lance Black looks like a cutie. I'm 27, so if me liking 45 year old Dustin Lance Black makes me a Geezer Pleaser, I accept it with open arms.

Age difference seems to work for men and women too. Just saying. In the gay world, I often feel that the age gap can be a sort of initiator / initiatee kind of relationship, but it needn't be that. Let's say that the older person may have had more experience with the difficulties of living life as a gay man, but because things have changed so quickly and so thoroughly (in some societies) it might be the younger one leading the way.

I guess it could also be a way of leaving a gay legacy, a sort of continuity, between generations, all he more so as until now having a family was not so much possible (of course now it is in some countries, therefore the children would presumably get the legacy, although some stuff they might not be so glad to have handed down, lol).

It could also just be that younger men are finally glad to be accepted for who they are by an older man who might be a father figure. Some of us have missed our fathers growing up or have found that man hard to relate to (maybe more so with a step father?).

No fats, no fems, no Asians and no one over 30 - yawn. There will always be insensitive people and those that feel offended by whatever criteria is applied. Some grow up, out of it, learn and others stay single.