Archie's Final Project

[East]

WOW Jake...I struggled with a response since I wrote the above and it was extremely difficult and I didnt' even know if I could do it even now but I wanted to answer the question above as sincerely as I could...and then I read your post and it blew me away. I can feel what you wrote and for the first time in my life I have a picture that has always eluded me so thank you for sharing your story. I have never been able to understand suicide at all or even the thought of it so I am glad to have some kind of reference I can relate to and understand at least....and best of all I have nothing but empathy for you and no anger which is a nice change.

I am so glad you gave yourself a chance and dfiant...I am so sorry for your loss. I understand exactly what you are saying...

Ryan...my response that I kept mulling over always included my spiritual beliefs and I dread preaching to anyone about my spiritual beliefs. I have a really deep spiritual side to me and at one time I would talk about it but only when asked but I got the nickname "Mother Abigail" (from The Stand)....and although initially I didn't know who the f*ck she was as I am not a King reader and I was a little insulted I finally read it and watched it and then I got the reference......I also kept my beliefs to myself mostly after that.

So if I take the spiritual aspect of it out of the equation...the best thing I can come up with is this....

I believe each one of us has "demons" in our head and if you are a sensitive person especially they can become quite destructive...I think the demons are the collective voices and judgements and negativity (and maybe actual demons) ...I think we can build a prison in our mind and sometimes it can be difficult and even seemingly impossible to get out of this prison

Having said that....

But do tell me, what is there to do when there's nothing to live for, when everyone's given up on you, when the world is against you, when the hurt is eating you up?

Without using my spiritual references this is difficult because everything I think of to say sounds condescending because I do not know your pain...but I do know what it is like to overcome impossible odds. All of the adversity and the pain is actually your greatest strength

The one thing I know saved me personally and I know it sounds harsh...you need to find any kind of self pity you are harboring and kick your own ass...get rid of it. If you can't get rid of it you need to step outside of yourself and think about babies who are born addicted to crack...children sold into slavery....there are so many things that you can think about to help you overcome any feelings of self pity and instead turn it into empathy for others. Self pity will kill your soul and your spirit and make you a prisoner in your own body and it may be the worst demon of them all.

The world being against you might be a blessing...it was/is/will be for so many of the greatest human beings who have ever lived...yesterday, today and tomorrow.

I don't know if that answer helps but it is sincere and I wanted to answer your question...I could elaborate in volumes but it would require my spiritual beliefs to play a prominent role.

Now...back to the movie....