Some bad jokes...

[Phil]

A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"
His father says, "No...how old?"
He says, "I'm eleven!"
He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"
She says, "Come closer..."
She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.
She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."
He says, "How could you tell?"
She says, "I heard you tell your father."

3 nuns have just croaked, one of them is Mother Teresa.
They reach the Pearly Gates and bump into St Peter.
St Peter says 'Right, none of you are entering unless you answer these questions correctly.
St Peter asks the first nun 'Ok, who was the first woman on Earth?'
1st nun replies ' Ooh, thats easy. It was Eve!'
'You're right. you can go!'
He asks the 2nd nun ' Where did Eve live?'
2nd nun replies 'Ooh thats easy. The Garden of Eden!'
'You're right! You can go'
He asks Mother Teresa 'What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?'
Mother Teresa replies 'Ooh, thats a hard one!'
St Peter replies 'You're right! You can go!'