i don't know what to do

[MisterTinkles]

I keep hearing that it gets better. When does this start?

It already has started to get better. You said so in your post!

Your friends don't care? Lucky you.
They like you for Hank, not for "gay Hank". Even luckier you.

Are you STILL drinking and having nightmares?

If so, then you have also started to get better, as you have proclaimed this in a public forum. As a counselor would say "admitting it is your first step to recovery".

If you are still drinking and having nightmares, then I would suggest a counselor to talk too. Find one you feel good talking too, and then go from there.

If you are not still drinking and having nightmares, then whats done is done. No need for anyone to know this. You dealt with it, its over. Get on with your life.

I don't like advocating "professionals", but if you find a good one, then more power to you. Most people find it helpful just having someone to talk too about personal stuff.