What's on Your Mind

[AlohaShannon]

I am sorry that happened Shannon...I am assuming the nature of your relationship with the ex has taken a turn? Are you still friends? (It's OK if you don't want to talk about it...I was just surprised.... and curious)

Thank you for your interest East, I appreciate that. Things are tenuous between her and I from time to time. I've bent over backwards to give her exactly what she wants but things are not working out as she planned. As a result, not only does she blame me for our failed marriage (and rightfully so), but she also blames me for the things that aren't going her way. The latest issue revolves around the whole coming out issue. She believes that if she lets me come out on my own terms, she's making life easier for me. So telling people - if they ask her - is easier for her than telling them to ask me directly.

She moved back to the mainland in the beginning of August but the couple of months before that were amazing. I really felt that we reconnected and reinvented our relationship. I guess that wasn't the case. Either she was swallowing how she felt or her hurt was renewed as soon as she left. Regardless, we both recently agreed that we may have romanticized the type of friendship we wanted and have since accepted that it might not be as "Will and Grace" as we had hoped.

I know that type of a relationship wouldn't necessarily have been healthy, I know that it was wishful thinking, and I know it was birthed out of co-dependence (that was for any readers desiring to throw up a plethora of philosophical thoughts trying to "explain" things to me).

To sum it all up; no, the friendship isn't what I had hoped. But I'm confident that as time passes, we will learn to have an amicable friendship even though we won't be "besties".