What's on Your Mind

[CellarDweller]

what's on my mind........


Tonight I am missing a friend.

Her name is Betty Salwak, and she lived in Indianapolis, Indiana. We first 'met' online when we were both members of the new Brokeback Mountain forum. I was a gay man struggling to understand my emotional reactions to the film, she was a married woman with a strong religious faith, just as touched by the film as I was.

We chatted for some time, and then in 2007 a large Brokeback BBQ was held in Estes Park, Colorado. It was attended by about 75 "Brokies", Betty and I attended, so we got to finally meet face-to-face, and got to talk about so much.

She served as the secretary for the Indianapolis PFLAG chapter and as the coordinator of children's ministries at her local LGBT-welcoming Presbyterian Church. In addition, she was an ardent supporter of the Indiana LGBT Youth Group, for whom she battled as anti-gay factions fought to prevent them from issuing a fundraising Indiana state license plate. When that fight was finally won, Betty was ecstatic.

Not long after that 2007 BBQ, Betty revealed to us that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She endured a double mastectomy, and chemo treatments, and when she had recovered, kept in touch with the Brokies, and all her duties with PFLAG.

In 2012 I traveled to Indiana and met up with Betty again, and some mutual friends. We went out for dinner and drinks and had a blast, laughing for hours and we closed the place down. I'll never forget that night.

Not long ago, Betty told us that the cancer had returned, and had metastasized. She faced it with her usual strength and grace, and took it upon herself to thank us all for surrounding her with love.

We received word last night that Betty lost her battle with cancer. She managed to survive long enough to see her state of Indiana legalize gay marriage.

My life was better because I knew her, and I miss her terribly.