What's on Your Mind

[Jay]

Lately I've been thinking on how glad I am to be a strong will person. I don't think I would make it if I am not mentally strong. I fell off emotionally many times throughout the years (childhood, teenager, young adult and last year). But I always fight back.

My physical trademark is my injured left leg, which some people consider me as a disabled lad. Additionally my hugely criticized face, which some people suggested me to do plastic surgery on it. Plus surgery scars and stretch marks all over my body due to my transformation from morbid obese to what I am now.

All these are solid enough to kill me off, emotionally; If I'm not a strong person.

Granted I went through hell to fight each demon but I defeated them. Most of the time.

I don't care if some people consider me as disabled, which I am not. For a 'disabled' person, I sure know how to kick some butt in sports, gym and such.

I don't care anymore if people want to criticize my face by saying it's sunken or such. I happened to like my post obese face. I don't think I'm good looking but I look decent enough for yours truly to be happy with.

As for my surgery scars and stretch marks. Holy, I was scared and embarrassed of each scar. But that was then. I now realized that I should be proud of them. Each of my scar represents my badass history to be who I am today. And nowadays, I just wear sleeveless tee in the gym. Gym members tend to stare but I don't care.

So I am thankful for being a strong will, stubborn and highly determined person.

I just hope one day I will meet a man who can appreciate my history and myself as who I am with open arms.