What's on Your Mind

[East]

2015 looked not promising, but a nice preparation of what looked promising. Then came the last 4 months and it turned rather quickly into one of the worst years I can remember. It's happened finally, a year that resembles High School days. Didn't think that was possible.

I tried to make things work and they simply didn't. Quite the contrary every important thing, outside of work (ha! and even is showing signs of trouble now), that I tried and was trying for a while to build came crashing down on me, detonation included.

Plenty of situations were helpless and I didn't know, because I was withheld of information. The excuse for that was "politeness". To make the shock of things less. Funny how that works, because it made it exponentially worse. But "It doesn't matter now"

Well it matters to me. Considering the state I'm in these last weeks, CLEARLY it matters to me.

I haven't been up to the challenge to remain unaffected. I haven't been up to the challenge of keeping my shit together while everything started unfolding. Every effort I've made over the years to be a stable person went down the drain in a matter of days. My bad.

OK. Let it be this way. Let things collapse as they must and I will try and recover afterwards and begin anew.

But life is "lol, no"

Every time I've tried to pick up the pieces, something else happens and down I come crashing again. Back up, back up, and there we go, some new detail about an already bad situation comes to light. Back down I go.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here. The "positive thinking elites" will go rambling some delusional nonsense that I'm not inclined to buy. And then they will probably nag for not buying it. No that's not the way to go. I'm way too bitter right now to think rainbows and sunshine.

Yes, the logical thing is to recover.....again.

This demands energy I don't have at the moment.

For now all I can think of is just sitting here, doing nothing and waiting for the next hit to come my way.

I can't have another year like last one. And I need to forget 2015 ever happened.

I am sorry that it sucked so bad......I have had a couple of those years in the past...

There is a silver lining though (sorry....gotta do it).....it can give you a better appreciation when things are going right..or well.....

I don't know what the situations are but is there anyway you can go ninja on anything? I learned that sometimes just turning around and embracing all the chaos and even inducing any more walls that are going to fall to do so sooner than later will get you done with all it is alot quicker...depends on what the circumstances are though...

Good Luck ((()))