What's on Your Mind

[InbetweenDreams]

I do smile a lot but not in photograph because as you know... heh.

However, I do believe that you are right. I shouldn't put myself down just because of what few people have said about my face. To be frank, deep down I do know that I have pleasant looking face and was said so by people around. An expat named Keith from Irieland used to greet me, Ciao Bello every morning. But I was scared to acknowledge my face because of the strong critics I've had in the past including from my own family members.

Nonetheless I'm done with that.

I now acknowledge my face. To my critics, screw them.

Anyway enough about me. I salute you for your commitment and determination to compete in triathlon. I wish you nothing but the best to complete your triathlon. When is the triathlon going to be held?

My target this year is to compete in Viper Challenge, which is an obstacle event.

First, you should get a photo of yourself smiling... a real smile too. I'm trying myself, it is not easy for me to smile...not for the same reasons but does relate sort of....I think I just look goofy or something it is a weird feeling I get.

I actually do not know when the triathlon will be, but I know it is this summer... No idea how long it is, whether it is a super sprint or something longer... I've timed a few triathlons with the same guy who talked me into doing one...and it was 1.2 mile swim, 17 mile bike and I think something like a 6.2 mile run... I know there are much longer courses...in fact he puts on a race in the summer a 5k (3.1 mile) swim across the lake...

At any rate I think I can get decent enough to at least complete the race, I know I'm not going to win, I mean not saying it isn't impossible but unlikely, I think I missed the mark to be at that level of competition, so for me it is just the goal of doing it.

I think it would be a major accomplishment for me. The only thing that I worry about is myself getting negative thoughts about things... That seems to fuck up more things is just thinking negatively about myself, things going on in my life. Being happy, being positive isn't as easy... I can sort of relate to how I was swimming for the first time last week... trying to get in the rhythm of exhaling under water and inhaling in the middle of a stroke, the mechanics aren't easy. Nothing seems to be very easy, especially at first, again it is mind over matter... I think I really. truly know what it means now.

So yes, go snap a selfie of those pearly whites... considering the hard work you have done to get to where you are today I think you owe it to yourself. I mean if I had accomplished that...well let's just say I'd own a selfie stick lol