In a fair bit of trouble and seem to be doing alone

[MikeW]

Thanks Anocxu and MikeW

... I guess that's the problem with seeking this type of advice, you need it from someone who knows the type of person you are....

That's exactly right. Most of us on GS want to be supportive and helpful. But there are real limits to the forum medium. When members participate over time, we begin to get a sense of who they are as people. Even *that* is limited, but at least we have some idea. Sometimes friendships develop between members and we begin to correspond outside of the forum. Maybe email or Skype or something. In any case, some of us get to know one another. Some members actually meet one another. (I've not met anyone from GS but I have met members of other forums I've belonged to.)

I always think it is a bit odd when someone comes to the forum more or less for the first time and asks for advice on a very sensitive issue. Its something like going out into the street and asking total strangers what they think.... not quite that bad but almost. You never know what kind of response you're going to get or where the people giving it are really coming from... WTF do they know, anyway?

But, sometimes, it makes sense. There can be reasons why it isn't possible to talk to IRL friends about a 'sticky situation'. So... going to a forum with a focus such as GS, asking for advice, help, or at least perspective, makes some sense.

Still, as you're pointing out, it is very limited. We don't know you. We don't know your friend or your partner. We only know what you've said... and even that may not be the clearest picture. Sometimes we misunderstand what people mean by their words.

One thing I DO appreciate, though, is when someone such as yourself replies to OUR replies to you. So often what happens is someone comes, they ask a question, we give our replies, and we never hear from them again. It's kind of frustrating, actually. I much prefer hearing back... "ok, thanks, this 'worked' that 'didn't" etc. So, thanks for your followup.