Errrr, not exactly what we had in mind

[Gemini]

Not so far fetched. I had a friend who developed an anal fissure, and the doctor said it was probably caused by hard stool. He took that to mean that he shouldn't be sitting on hard stools (or, presumably, other hard surfaces) and began carrying a cushion with him everywhere he went. When we finally enlightened him, he complained for days about doctors who use "medical terms" instead of plain English.