What's on Your Mind

[Emiliano]

Well can't always tell exactly how someone else feels, in text especially, but I know what you mean. I've had a rough past few weeks and while it would be helpful, probably, to vent about it, I think I put way too much information on here which makes me uncomfortable.

Well when I was growing up and in part of my 20's I was pretty much the same way, I was pretty closed off and in some ways I am still that way. I don't discuss with my parents about my relationships or everything that goes on with work and frankly no one really knows. Only close friends do I go into anything.

I don't know why you expressing how you feel would make anyone uncomfortable. Just because your role is typically the opposite doesn't mean you're not a human with feelings... It is ok to seek comfort, be pampered, to have an extra donut or have your date pay for dinner.

I get the sense you have a habit of putting the weight of the world on your shoulders.



Understood. I don't talk about this much but I have kept a journal since 2005. I seldom write in it, but it has grown to over 100 pages, single spaced (that's how Microsoft Word used to be back in the day). Not making a suggestion there, but in relation to what you said, it has helped me and kind of interesting and funny to read back the stupid shit that mattered to me over the years.



Well that's what I mean when I say you remind me of my friend at the animal shelter. We went on a couple dates a few years ago and he always works, has about 16 cats in his apartment (which was why I didn't continue dating him -- I like cats but it is impossible to keep a clean place with so many cats... I mean my eyes were watering up). He just seemed so immersed with his work, stressed out, that I could tell he wasn't happy but felt that his work was more important than him living. He's probably not the best example, but I can see a few places were you two might parallel.

That being said, I don't think what you do is bad, as in immersing yourself in work, I think it is good to be passionate in what you do and that you aren't doing it to become insanely rich, or screw people over. Seems the world is ran by people who seek wealth and power and won't think twice to drag someone through the mud.

Not to rant and not to offend any women on here, but women are the worst in the workplace. Just yesterday, after I had left, I get a voicemail on my office phone and less than a minute later an email pops up and it says "I CAN'T GET A HOLD OF ANYONE IN IT!" and was sent to 2 VP's and everyone else. I had less than a minute to have acknowledge her voicemail before I could possibly call back. I don't know but the passive aggressiveness and disrespect here lately has been getting under my skin and while it really is a small deal just pisses me off and sometimes I have a hard time letting things go. I really try not to bitch about things. Speaking of, supposedly people who complain more live longer? I haven't looked into it but seen some crap like that flow into Facebook. Anyway, there my mini-rant lol



Well I don't think there is anything wrong with speaking bluntly. I think the problem talking about anything like politics or things like racism and xenophobia is that people don't research stuff...I'm guilty of that at times and everyone has a knee jerk reaction to something they initially object to, or simply take out of context... Context is hard to pick up when you're reading someone else's words with your inner voice. Very easy to mis-interpret things, or at least I find it to be the case with myself.

On Donald Dump's supporters. They feel they have "won" something. They're blind, to it, they don't realize it. Now, I'm speaking about the hardcore, Fox News watching, the kind of people who listen to Rush Limbaugh and The Blaze and think Sean Hannity should be president. They don't see the smoke screen. They don't realize that those people say what they say to make money, then again, that's politics in a nutshell. I do think that solely and blindly supporting any political party is equally bad. I know the media will only air certain stories while other things go on unnoticed by the public. The politicians and the people that own the media have a very big interest in controlling public opinion. Like the video news releases on random things, like out of the blue there's a story that is aired on every news station about a computer viruses which really turns into a commercial for an anti-virus company, they might have someone from Symantec or McAfee or some other firm. Not the best example but there is a lot of that, some of it I probably don't catch. Even news articles, I read them and I immediately realize they are so slanted. However, because they know that their readers are going to agree with their views, it is hard to see that they're slanted one way or the other. I mean it's pretty broad.

Anyway, yeah I don't get Trump supporters, how they can totally dismiss any dealings he had with Russia and I'm pretty sure he has dealings and probably has a lot to do with him winning the election. I mean c'mon, we're about 5 months into his presidency and his attorney is already holding press conferences. What is this? House of Cards? I mean sometimes I wonder if Trump is more corrupt than Underwood, who's a fucking fictional character for fucks sake. I mean it takes imagination to make Frank Underwood a corrupt and evil politician and Trump says, "hold my beer." Oh but it's fake news...right. Yes, of course, most of the news has been twisted to form a specific narrative, but that's true of every news outlet, except maybe C-SPAN.



I think most people are good, but most people are also stupid. Not that I sugar coat things, at least not intentionally anyway, I will say that instead of saying someone is a blithering idiot, sometimes explaining in more detail...like how they're a blithering idiot, is less harsh. My thinking simply is that you can't fix stupid. Ron White was right about that. I see plenty of dumb people, people that just read a meme and that's now their opinion and have zero critical thinking skills, even people who have more education than I do are fucking dumb when it comes to the issues because their mommy or their daddy was a republican or a democrat. I mean probably the dumbest reason to be affiliated with a political party is because your parents do. I see it the same way with religion. I had little exposure to religion and I can see it for what it really is, very little of spirituality but more on controlling you and raising money to have influence over more people and the government (which have no business belonging in).

I probably shouldnt be posting on here late at night after a few drinks.. but yeah... its not easy dealing with people sometimes. Its not easy being a person sometimes. And theres so much going on in the world, its hard to process it all and make sense. Its frustrating.

I do try to remind myself to focus on the things that I can control - my attitude, my interactions with people, the people I surround myself with. To seek out good vibes and to put them out for the people around me. But I dont know, its hard for me to not to look, overthink, analyze, draw connections, think about the consequences, and react emotionally to things beyond my control too.

I just need to keep working on trying to use the things that bother me, to motivate myself to be better, to act as a counter balance in some ways. Im also really jealous of people who have a therapist. I dont have health insurance, but that might be an expense worth looking into.

Sorry to hear you've had a rough few weeks too. And passive aggressive, impatient people are the worst. I know what thats like. It seems like you live in a beautiful place though and you have some interesting hobbies to keep you busy / restore your sanity as needed. And as long as the weather is nice, Im taking Sunday as a beach day, which should do a little bit of that for me too.