05-14-2020, 02:17 PM
Very few things are completely straightforward. If your husband is 24 it's quite likely he hasn't gone off sex completely. How do you know he is not making his own arrangements while you are not meeting his needs? The thing is you don't. Extra-marital sex doesn't have to be a deal-breaker, but the agreement of both parties makes the whole thing a lot less complicated and reduces the guilt and shame. Guilt and shame are highly toxic and to avoid owning either we can sometimes cast around in search of a scapegoat and so the poison spreads.
If you had sex with his brother just the once are you sure you are not just in love with the fantasy brother you have constructed around this event? Those brain chemicals can mess us up quite a lot! You don't say whether or not you still love your husband. If you do still love him my feeling is that you should talk about the not having sex bit because, even if it hasn't been much of an issue up to this point, it is clearly more of an issue than you seem to have thought. If however, you no longer love your husband and you have given your heart to another man therein lies the betrayal. Again in my view, the sex is a symptom, not the whole of the relationship.
I've no idea what you should do, I'm just a bloke on a boat, but what I read in your initial post is that you may be looking for reasons to leave your husband. "It's not you, it's me" is a bit of a cliché, but you don't have to invent reasons by rubbing up against someone else. We all make mistakes, but you don't need to unravel his family if you feel there is any value left in your own relationship. Just a couple of further things to throw into the pot while I'm on clichés. Truth can be over-rated and the grass is rarely greener elsewhere.
Good luck in coming out of this with minimal fallout.
If you had sex with his brother just the once are you sure you are not just in love with the fantasy brother you have constructed around this event? Those brain chemicals can mess us up quite a lot! You don't say whether or not you still love your husband. If you do still love him my feeling is that you should talk about the not having sex bit because, even if it hasn't been much of an issue up to this point, it is clearly more of an issue than you seem to have thought. If however, you no longer love your husband and you have given your heart to another man therein lies the betrayal. Again in my view, the sex is a symptom, not the whole of the relationship.
I've no idea what you should do, I'm just a bloke on a boat, but what I read in your initial post is that you may be looking for reasons to leave your husband. "It's not you, it's me" is a bit of a cliché, but you don't have to invent reasons by rubbing up against someone else. We all make mistakes, but you don't need to unravel his family if you feel there is any value left in your own relationship. Just a couple of further things to throw into the pot while I'm on clichés. Truth can be over-rated and the grass is rarely greener elsewhere.
Good luck in coming out of this with minimal fallout.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
