Annoyance...

[InbetweenDreams]

So here's an update, not that much that I've already talked about has changed but some new stuff. So he has to put in a month ahead of time to take his Sunday's off, he already gets Fri & Sat and I work 4 days work weeks. Just to explain that up front. I also made plans to visit my sister but between that and him changing his schedule this month (he originally had different days off) it gets confusing. I think he originally had this and last weekend off, I don't quite remember but he felt that was too close together. All that while I'm trying to figure out what my sister's schedule is because she's got plans at the end of the month. It is difficult to plan out what I'm doing on a monthly basis.

So it turned out that my plans to see my sister and to go see him are on the same weekend. No problem, he's told me he wanted to go meet my sister and so on so I asked her if I could bring him... Well, there's one big problem. My brother in-law has cancer (a rare, slow growing type that I know nothing about) and he is going to be starting chemo sometime in the near future, might be a few months away... and my partner I'm suppose to bring has not gotten vaccinated. Now, despite anyone's opinions about COVID, getting vaccinated, understand it is going to be my sister's wishes and I am in total agreement that he should be vaccinated around someone who has cancer, is immunosuppressed, etc. Nor am I going to risk doing something that would jeopardize my sister, her husband or my niece's well being. So, since getting vaccinated is something he'll likely not do, I guess he'll have to stay home that weekend because I don't get to see my sister, or my niece very often or for very long. They live across the state, about 420 miles (675km) away. So I am not going to pass chances to see them.

Hopefully I have given enough context here to ask the question. Am I being selfish if I choose to go visit my sister instead of him?

The other thing that is a little annoying, and this is just me bitching because some people including myself don't like to make choices. But it is just that, I almost always have to choose and decide everything. Here's an example. He's been wanting to go stay in a cabin for a weekend with me. He's not looked up any places or talked about what all he wants to do so that leaves me having to figure everything out. So I did. Planned a trip in November to go stay in a cabin. He also wants to go to the Corvette Museum in Kentucky, I told him that he needs to be the one to decide when, where, how on that. The only thing I asked was that we also be able to go to Mammoth Cave which is near the Museum near Bowling Green, KY. Like, I am willing to go do these things but he needs to tell me when, how much it is going to cost, etc. instead of having me figure everything out for him. I know some people just aren't for making choices but I feel it is more of him just being lazy and a procrastinator. Now, I'm a bit of a procrastinator myself but it seems that the difference is that there are things I just get done, like the vaccine stuff, planning a trip, etc. but I need to put a load of bath towels in the washer and I have put that off for a few days.

I feel like there is just so many things that would only require a small to moderate amount of effort to make his life better. Another example. He has psoriasis, and he has it kind of bad in his scalp. I know it is not his fault and I have gotten used to that, it is not a deal breaker for me. But, he could, if he chose to, go see a dermatologist and find out if about medications or treatment options that his insurance covers and that he could afford. Same with his job situation.

I don't know that all my frustrations are necessarily dealbreakers but definitely things that I either just need to accept or deal with them and navigate through them.