Husbands and their porn habits?

[ChadCoxRox]

Masturbation is healthy if engaged with some understanding of the multiple health benefits. Here's a video to start things off.
This guy is entertaining, funny and very informative on youtube Eurochannel.

Next, a very strong tool for improving your relationship and even clearing up some (or much) of the insecurity and pain you describe will be working on better communication. A person's fetish "obsessing" for titillation and masturbation may be quite powerful and yet coexist with choices made in reality. So the fact that I love to fantasize about bottoming for bears in my own private time is not a matter of contention with my boyfriend's understanding and acceptance of my being a total top in our relationship. I've never bottomed and don't plan to, but it is a real turn on in fantasy for me. The reason this is not an issue is because we've communicated openly about it enough to actually respect and appreciate each other's eccentricities and even privacy. This communication has also led us to explore and experiment with each other for a better sex life.

I sense all sorts of room for growth and happiness in your situation. I hope you'll find your way together!