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[Eth21]

I don't usually like sharing these sort of things so bare with me.

So yesterday I met up with a friend yesterday with the idea of coming out to her. Since she has gay friends and has experimented herself she seemed like a logical choice to start. However despite all this I still couldn't say anything.. So now I'm feeling pretty stupid and useless as well as feeling completely alone. All of these seem to hit me this morning and I just feel like I've taken a huge step backwards and just wanna be like everyone else around me.

On top of all this I keep having recurring nightmares that someone is gonna find me on here and out me to everyone around me.

So as a result I think I'm gonna take a break from gay speak and hope these nightmares subside and perhaps find some perspective.

I might come back but would like to say thanks to everyone who's helped me out in the past and you are all really awesome!!!