Am I really gay?

[Swanny]

I want to be gay, but really do not know If I am. I want to know now whether or not I am truly gay. Anyways, I am noting the fact that I think men can be really attractive and handsome and what not, but I sometimes do not get erected at them unless they have smooth skin and a round ass kind of like a girl. I do not want to be attracted to girls and do not find the idea of heterosexual intimate relationship exciting or stimulating, but instead something to endured for the sake of social acceptance. I am just afraid that liking feminine features in a man makes me less gay? If I like femboys am I gay? If I am sort of like attracted to and in love with a handsome guy, but not necessarily erected at the sight of him naked am I really a gay person? The thought of being in a gay relationship excites me a lot, but I am scared I might not be gay enough or at all. I see myself being in love with and having sex with men, but more or less just enjoying the feeling of their penis inside me as opposed to their whole body. I can appreciate the male form and what not. I am really scared and confused about my sexuality and do not want to be straight or live a heterosexual lifestyle.