10-17-2016, 05:59 PM
This is something I never thought I would do. I am a gay man living in Los Angeles, a very social and liberated city for gay people. I work in the entertainment field and do not hide my sexuality, yet I never speak of it and nobody really asks me anything. I am getting older, almost 50 years old and I find that family responsibility, work duties and just trying to make everyone around me happy has pushed me so far back in the closet that I don;t even have one gay friend.
My life is taking care of my elderly Father who is ill and living with me now and working.
I make good money, but of course much of it is sucked up with medical expenses, etc. I have no support. No family.
The one and only thing that makes me happy is my 24 year old straight male assistant who is ambitious and I have been having a mutual beneficial affair with for 3 years.
I have put him through school and have been there for him in any way he needs. Money has flowed to him in large amounts. In return, I give him oral sex once a week. He is stunning and perfect so of course I have fallen in love with him. But now- He is dating girls and having sex with them and I can't handle it. I am turning in to a 13 year old girl- texting and complaining. I feel lost and unwanted and old. I can't give him up but I can't keep going like this. Do I work at developing a thicker skin- or walk away and be miserable in my miserable life? HAHA So dramatic. I know all the typical responses I will get, but if you are gay and of a certain age- with huge responsibility-having something beautiful and perfect, even if it costs you a lot- sometimes is the only thing that is keeping you going.
My life is taking care of my elderly Father who is ill and living with me now and working.
I make good money, but of course much of it is sucked up with medical expenses, etc. I have no support. No family.
The one and only thing that makes me happy is my 24 year old straight male assistant who is ambitious and I have been having a mutual beneficial affair with for 3 years.
I have put him through school and have been there for him in any way he needs. Money has flowed to him in large amounts. In return, I give him oral sex once a week. He is stunning and perfect so of course I have fallen in love with him. But now- He is dating girls and having sex with them and I can't handle it. I am turning in to a 13 year old girl- texting and complaining. I feel lost and unwanted and old. I can't give him up but I can't keep going like this. Do I work at developing a thicker skin- or walk away and be miserable in my miserable life? HAHA So dramatic. I know all the typical responses I will get, but if you are gay and of a certain age- with huge responsibility-having something beautiful and perfect, even if it costs you a lot- sometimes is the only thing that is keeping you going.
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