12-19-2010, 11:35 PM
Hello All!
If I could make this shorter, I would, haha, so apologies for it being so long:
I consider myself gay, and have done for a number of years now (I'm 23). I've recently started going on dates and exploring possibilities for the first time. I've been doing it through online dating sites, which irrespective of their negative reputation, I've found the experience quite positive. I find men attractive, I love the male form and want to spend my life with another man. I have no desire for women.
Anyway, I met this one guy online and after a week or two of chatting, we decided to meet. I have met others, this isnt the first guy I decided to meet with. We had a meal which was fun and we got on well, ending up being the last customers in the restaurant. We decided to meet again, and continued talking via txt or msn daily.
I suggested doing something more adventurous than a walk or another meal, and he suggested camping. Giving it's bloomin freezin outside with 7 or 8 inches of snow, we eventually came to our senses and decided not to go camping, but instead to get a hotel room. Now, this sounds really seedy and slutty and I'm still not quite sure how I bought myself to say yes, but it that's what we did. Both of us live at home and couldn't take the other back to our homes, so the hotel was the only safe option. It was good fun, if truth be told; and really, if you go around suggesting camping or hotel rooms, the aim was always sex. This was the first time I had ever done anything intimate like this with anyone, male or female. I felt comfortable, enjoyed his body, and don't think I was nervous.
Thing is, he's a nice guy, and good looking, but I don't honestly find him attractive. So, it wasn't an evening spent with someone 'special' to me.
We didn't have anal-sex, but did everything else. Problem is, I couldn't get an erection when I was naked. He came twice over the night, and I came the second time, through masturbation, but couldn't get an erection either way.
What I think the evening was, more than anything, was two guys wanting a bit of no strings attached fun. I don't wish it didnt happen (at the moment, anyway), I think I was looking for the experience. He's not looking for anything more than dating at the moment, but he is more experienced with guys. I wouldn't be surprised if I change my view and find myself eventually hating myself for doing it though. We stayed the whole night at the hotel and said goodbye midday the next day.
Aside from calling me a slut, nasty bastard, 'wham, bam, thank you mam' kinda person or saying that we just used each other, I'm looking for reassurance that I don't have erectile dysfunction (I work fine when I'm on my own) that rather, my embarrassment was caused by me just not having strong feelings for him and not finding him attractive. Could that be the case??? On the other hand, I'm certain I'm gay......maybe I'm just kidding myself and am really a closeted heterosexual!?
Help!!
If I could make this shorter, I would, haha, so apologies for it being so long:
I consider myself gay, and have done for a number of years now (I'm 23). I've recently started going on dates and exploring possibilities for the first time. I've been doing it through online dating sites, which irrespective of their negative reputation, I've found the experience quite positive. I find men attractive, I love the male form and want to spend my life with another man. I have no desire for women.
Anyway, I met this one guy online and after a week or two of chatting, we decided to meet. I have met others, this isnt the first guy I decided to meet with. We had a meal which was fun and we got on well, ending up being the last customers in the restaurant. We decided to meet again, and continued talking via txt or msn daily.
I suggested doing something more adventurous than a walk or another meal, and he suggested camping. Giving it's bloomin freezin outside with 7 or 8 inches of snow, we eventually came to our senses and decided not to go camping, but instead to get a hotel room. Now, this sounds really seedy and slutty and I'm still not quite sure how I bought myself to say yes, but it that's what we did. Both of us live at home and couldn't take the other back to our homes, so the hotel was the only safe option. It was good fun, if truth be told; and really, if you go around suggesting camping or hotel rooms, the aim was always sex. This was the first time I had ever done anything intimate like this with anyone, male or female. I felt comfortable, enjoyed his body, and don't think I was nervous.
Thing is, he's a nice guy, and good looking, but I don't honestly find him attractive. So, it wasn't an evening spent with someone 'special' to me.
We didn't have anal-sex, but did everything else. Problem is, I couldn't get an erection when I was naked. He came twice over the night, and I came the second time, through masturbation, but couldn't get an erection either way.
What I think the evening was, more than anything, was two guys wanting a bit of no strings attached fun. I don't wish it didnt happen (at the moment, anyway), I think I was looking for the experience. He's not looking for anything more than dating at the moment, but he is more experienced with guys. I wouldn't be surprised if I change my view and find myself eventually hating myself for doing it though. We stayed the whole night at the hotel and said goodbye midday the next day.
Aside from calling me a slut, nasty bastard, 'wham, bam, thank you mam' kinda person or saying that we just used each other, I'm looking for reassurance that I don't have erectile dysfunction (I work fine when I'm on my own) that rather, my embarrassment was caused by me just not having strong feelings for him and not finding him attractive. Could that be the case??? On the other hand, I'm certain I'm gay......maybe I'm just kidding myself and am really a closeted heterosexual!?
Help!!
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