Might be gay and I'm really scared

[BYoNexus]

Hi,

I'm new to the forum, I've been struggling with what my sexuality is for about 13 years now. I think it's possible that I could be gay but I'm not completely sure. The possibility of being gay really scares me and i would be very disappointed if it turned out to be the case. Let me be clear I fully support all gay rights it's just that I never wanted that life for me. My plan would be to never act on my feelings and live my life alone, I'm not sure if it's the best idea, but it's the only one I've got. If anyone has any thoughts I'd really appreciate your comments.

Aside from being unsure if your gay or not, these are the EXACT same ideas and decision I made to myself 12 years ago. I knew I was gay, but was afraid of what It would mean if I let people know. I even decided on the same plan.

Fast forward to Mid 2011. I was in a bad place. I was always depressed, and smoked Cigarettes and weed, and had been experimenting with other substances. This is where you end up if you deny yourself even a chance at Love. Living alone just gets harder and harder if you desire to be loved by another person. Keeping up a Facade to keep people from finding out is worse, because over time, you will realise your relationships to even close friends is tainted by the lie. I'll admit, right before I Came Out, I could easily see myself doing something irreversible to myself in the next few years if I continued in the same fashion.

I'm not saying that you'll follow the same path, or that you might already be on it, but you need to figure out if you want to ruin your chance at happiness or put yourself out there and find someone you can love, and who will love you in return.

In six months, I've come so far. I haven't been this happy in so long, that I can't even remember when I was this happy. I've quit smoking.. except the rare J from time to time and am looking forward to the future for the first time in years.

Your situation might be different. You might have family or friends who would not react well to you if you turned out to be gay. I'd like to say that if they don't accept you then you need to find better friends and all that, but sometimes it isn't that easy. It's scary to let go of what is familiar, but I sincerely think that to never act on your feelings and live your life alone will end in nothing but misery.